Unashamed Plug for Sympathy!

A quick note to apologize for not having posted this week. I've been terribly sick and am slllooowwwlllyyy on the mend. I promise to be back next week with a slew of fun, and a few more serious, posts! Have a great weekend and I'll leave you with the knowledge that I doing my best to enjoy the results of my terribly sore throat and wracking coughs...a husky, sexy voice!

See you next week.

Loving Lee Lee's Valise!

This is going to be a shameless plug for a store I've never even visited or even shopped in. Yet! Lee Lee's Valise is located in Brooklyn and specializes in sizes 10 to 28 and not only that - offers stylish and trend-conscious items for women who appreciate having the same looks as their smaller sisters. With it's brick walls and polished wood floors, it has the funky look of an exclusive boutique that women of (ahem) smaller sizes would frequent and for that I am swooning. I'm going to NYC in August and Lee Lee's Valise is the first stop I'm making!

One of my biggest problems with retailers and plus size clothing is that they give us "specialized" clothing which usually means dowdy and boring. And it's better than it's ever been, but there is still so much more advancement that is needed. Now, I realize that an elderly woman who wears a size 24 probably doesn't want some boot cut jeans by Svoboda...or you know what? Maybe she does! I will want that option at the very least! I'll be in my Lark scooter wearing some sassy jeans and a cute top and lusting after all the young boys just like I do know (only now I'm without the scooter!)

When I am old, I shall wear purple, as long as it's something by Beth Dittos new line for Evans..which is not surprising coming from a woman who wants to be cremated and instead of an urn, have her ashes placed in a really incredible handbag. I'll probably break a hip eventually, so dammit I might as well be wearing something smashing and dancing when it happens!

On a side note, I remember going with my mother and my grandmother to the clothing store that was their only option at the time (1970's) and it was called the House of Large Sizes. Was this a nation-wide chain? Does anyone else remember these stores? First of all - can you believe that name?! Aside from the fact that it does make a really great band name, it's too over the top and of course, insulting. I remember round racks of polyester pants with elastic waist bands and ugly smock tops and sales clerks who chomped gum and wore what amounted to a nurses uniform. And in retrospect I want to say - where were the designers of that era? Where was Liz Claiborne, who had just invented separates for working women; where was Anne Klein and that damn lion's head logo? Where was Halston with his gorgeous jersey knits? How lovely and easy those designs would have been to translate to larger sizes. Bianca and Liza and Liz were not the only ones who wanted to look hot while they were out at the disco, and besides, Liz's weight was always fluctuating anyways, I'm sure Halston could've just whipped her up a dress or two. By the way, the Halston numbers pictured below are amazing..very Rachel Pally. Classic design lives on!

Lee Lee's Valise's website has a great comment about how they hope to avoid the condescending attitude that permeates most of the boutiques in the neighborhood who really sneer at anyone bigger than a size 8.

Imagine that if you will. After my rant today, I might have to just move into a fitting room.

My current fashion obsession is dresses. I am living in them and so, have pictured a few of my current faves from the Lee Lee's website (you can order on-line!) Enjoy - and I'll follow up after I've been there in August!

Concealed/Revealed..and Laughter Yoga!

"I was trying pants on and the sales clerk told me I should try wearing thong underwear so I wouldn't have a panty line. I told her I relied on my panty line so I could tell where my thighs end and my butt begins."

-Jodie Maruska

I did a humorous talk yesterday afternoon on the topic of body acceptance. I was part of a larger event that took place around an art exhibit titled "concealed/revealed", featuring these stunning life-size charcol drawings that explore the complex structure of the human body (clink on link below and drawing above.)

http://www.sabesjcc.org/arts_gallery_current.htm

The artist, Emily Isenberg states that “The body is the source of our deepest pleasures and traumas. By revealing the concealed anatomy beneath the clothing and skin, exposing the complex layers of our bodies, bone, muscle, organs, veins, and spirit, we come to realize that we are the same underneath. Yet our stories and experiences, similarly complex, are still hidden.”

Her words and the drawings really resonated with me, and fortunately, I got to be a part of this exhibit and the event of yesterday as I shared my experience in a humorous talk that not only illustrated what I do to accept my size and shape, but how I got to this point in my life. I love what the artist said about all of us being the same, yet being shaped by our stories and experiences. How true is that? I told the story of father seeing me do stand up comedy in front of thousands of people. I rocked the stage that night; the audience loved me. But upon seeing me, my dad's first comment was "you looked a little heavy up there." How is that for a light bulb moment? It was definitely a growth moment for me as I finally got that my body, my size, was none of his business. And that if that's all he could see, that is was his problem and really, how sad for him. And that is one of the the messages I hope I provided my audience yesterday...and that I hope to continue presenting in this blog.

Dad and I have a good relationship by the way, but we do NOT talk about food, diets, exercise, weight, women's bodies...it is totally off-limits, but I am the one that had to set that boundary with him. And surprisingly, I did it without hurting him, and that's always a good thing!

My point is - no one has a right to tell you what to do with your body and to judge it in any way. And you have the complete right to tell anyone who does so to...well, not do it any more! What's the phrase I think I heard once? Your opinion of me is none of my business! I love that.

My talk was followed by laughter yoga, which was a blast and which I recommend to anyone looking for a new way to de-stress and to simply have some fun! No downward facing dogs required, but you still feel the workout while you laugh and build up body heat. I think it'd be great if you have limited mobility and if you have difficulty moving in certain ways pertaining to other yoga styles..and the fun thing is, you get to laugh uproariously the whole time! A unique and fun workout and a really incredible afternoon.

Continuing Thursday's Gratitude Theme...

Friday. And I'm feeling a bit uninspired but also glad the weekend is here. It's been an insane week and I have an insane weekend ahead of me. I am a stand up comic and have two shows and am also doing a talk on body acceptance on Sunday. Perhaps in between I'll get some laundry done or perhaps hang out with a friend.

Since I was so inspired from yesterday's post on thankfulness, that is what I'm doing today. I hope you don't consider it a cop-out for copying such a great idea, but it reminded me of how so often I get caught up in the craziness of of living and forget to stop and be grateful and just "be"!

I wish everyone a good weekend of gratitude, peace and love!

1. I'm grateful too that I don't have someone shaming me into losing weight. Shame on AskMen.com for such an insensitive post. In fact, just the opposite, I'm grateful that I have people in my life who love and support me unconditionally and wouldn't dream of treating me in such a disrespectful manner.

2. I'm grateful to have this blog and to be gaining a readership. I love being apart of this community and the people who are out here are smart, funny and sassy. Thank you for being there!

3. I'm grateful to my friends who are truly my family of choice. I am blessed with some incredible people in my life and I love them truly and am loved in return. What could be better?

4. I'm grateful to my family too - to my funny and silly niece Rylee, who at 5 years of age, is more wise than all of us! My nephews, Tyler and Jake who have made me a hockey fan and who never fail to make me laugh. My brother Paul who is recovering from knee surgery, and his wife Traci. My parents and my sister Karla. We're a weird bunch sometimes, but I can't imagine them not being there! (Photo above is mom, dad, brother, nephews..and the great and powerful puppy, Jasmine!)

5. I'm grateful to have some comedy to do this weekend. Sometimes it's great..sometimes it's not so great..but it's always something I have to do. It's one more way that as a fat woman, I can be out there and have a voice and be heard.

6. I'm grateful to be able to sleep late tomorrow. Oh..sweet dreams to me..and to everyone this weekend!

Sexy Secretary....Meow!

I am totally crushing on this animal print pencil skirt from Liz Claiborne. It’s very “kitten with a whip" and I see it with a black v-neck sweater or blouse and paired with some chunky jewelry. On the bottom, pointy toed, classic pumps or a pair of knee high boots.

Someone help me....I’m starting to get “Fall Fashion Itch!"

Blouse: Gayla Bentley

Boots: Newport News on Style.com

Bejewel my Heart!

If diamonds are a girl’s best friend, then jewelry in general is also our best gay friend, our lover, and our stylist all in one!

Jewelry can make or break your look and it does not have to cost a fortune to be stylish and smashing. Even though our clothing options are growing all of the time, some of us still may be facing an unappealing selection of boring, dowdy “women’s sizes” and if this is the case, jewelry is where you can go wild and give your look some great personality.

Jewelry is the treat you give yourself when you’re feeling a little blue and remember that stunning simple ring in the store window that will look oh-so-lovely on your well-manicured hand. Jewelry is the celebratory present you give yourself when you get that promotion you have been coveting. Jewelry is the ultimate intimate and symbolic gift in the form of the engagement ring you share with a most precious loved one.

My recommendation? Play with your jewelry. Have fun with it. Every time you pick up a blouse or dress (or bra..what the hell?!) at Lane Bryant or Lee Lee’s Valise, pick up a great necklace or some fun earrings as well. Your outfit is not done until you have a great piece of jewelry with which to pair it. However, just like I never buy “matching” tops/bottoms or outfits, I would pay the same attention to jewelry. Earrings that match the necklace that match the bracelet are just as boring as not wearing anything. The “Geranimals” approach should be avoided at all costs!

Ultimately, plan to invest in one or two signature pieces that you love and will wear with just about everything. Think about making an impact and lasting statement. Look at Coco Chanel’s pearls or Liz Taylor’s massive diamonds. Even fictional characters have memorable looks, i.e., Carrie Bradshaw’s over sized flower pins. She started a craze that crazy girl! My point is that those accessories not only made their looks their own – these people are known and remembered for those looks. You, my dear, can do the same thing.

My thoughts are to skip the department stores and head over to cool boutiques that feature artisan jewelry or handmade pieces by local designers. You are assured to get a one-of-a kind piece that lets you really show who you are with smashing style. My favorite necklace is a cravat style piece that features three polished stones on the end of wires that criss-cross to form the necklace in the front. It’s architectural, simple, and it never fails to get compliments, and those are NEVER a bad thing!

So, here are some of the favorites I have found on-line recently. I'm especially lusting over the Flutter line, and some of the pieces that Liz Claiborne is doing with their new designs, thank you Isaac Mizrahi! Speaking of designers who just love women in general - Isaac is a lover of women of all sizes and my shameless plug is to check out the website and the clothes!

Credit in order:

Liz Claiborne Necklace

Marc by Marc Jacobs Owl Drop Earrings

Flutter (I don't know if it's a ring, a bracelet or a necklace..but I love it!)

Matthew Campbell Laurenza Sapphire and Pearl Necklace

Gorgeous!

First of all, I have finally gotten over my own shock at realizing that when this luscious, gorgeous woman was born I was already 23 years old (ahem)!

Crystal Renn started modeling at the age of 14 and was quickly told to lose apparently almost a third of her body weight. When the subsequent weight loss led to a health crisis, she regained weight and re-emerged at a healthy size 12 and now enjoys a very successful career. She recently spoke out in support of comments made by British Vogue who has publicly asked designers for more realistic portrayals of young women, as opposed to the waif-thin aesthetic that is so prevalent in the fashion world. So we now love them..Anna Wintour, are you listening?

In the photo above, Renn is modeling for Jean Paul Gaultier and I frankly can’t think of a more beautiful woman to appear in such a stunning dress. Can it be that designers and the media are slowly realizing that woman are beautiful at all sizes? Is it also my imagination that perhaps European designers are a bit more on the ball about this? Gianni Versace did beautiful clothes for women of all sizes because quite simply, he loved women and there is yet another reason to mourn the tragic and early loss of that designer. But quite honestly, all it takes is one designer...then two..and then three, and slowly we will reach the tipping point where it will not longer even be necessary to include the “plus-size” before "model". Or simply "woman".

That reality alone is gorgeous beyond belief.

The Right to Bear Arms

Once when I was visiting my parents in the summer, it was swelteringly hot and I got dressed into my then-favorite white linen sleeveless tank dress. When I entered the kitchen my mother took one look at me and asked if I really wanted to go sleeveless, the insinuation being that with fat upper arms, wouldn’t I really rather cover them up? I replied to her “Because I’m fat, I should be hot too?” and without noticing her reply I carried on with my sleeveless day. It felt like such a “moment” between us because of all people (a woman who had to listen to my father’s put downs about her weight for years), wouldn’t she be at a different place with the acceptance of her size? She is not I fear. She still carries the shame of being told horrible things about how she looked by the person who should have been loving and supporting her unconditionally. The scars of that, I imagine, are so ingrained but then, so are they on all of us who are constantly hearing that something is wrong with us and that we need to be fixed.

Now on this note, along comes the Arm Shapewear Collection from Tres Sleek. It’s like a Spanx for upper arms. Quite honestly, to me it looks like a shrug with the elasticity to strangle you if positioned just right. Would you wear this? It’s essentially a girdle for your arms. Do you find it as ridiculous as I do? For me, it ranks right up there with having vaginal reconstruction surgery because you don’t like how it looks “down there.” Are we totally insane? Are we ever going to let ourselves simply “be”? My upper arms are fat and they match the rest of me. When I look at them at just the right angle, they look exactly like my grandmother’s arms (without so many wrinkles) and there is something in that I like. Do I lust after chiseled biceps like Madonna’s, who seems to be held up as the gold standard for these sorts of things, especially for women over 40? Honestly, no I don’t. Do I wish my arms were stronger? Yeah, I do.

Note: GGF is always telling me “you have no strength in your arms.” This is true of course and apparent mostly after we have moved a heavy piece of furniture from Ikea to my house and he has had to do the majority of the lifting. He’s such a good GOOD friend!

Back to the subject at hand. No pun intended! It’s hot right now and I’m living in sleeveless dresses. I’m hot all the time quite frankly and sometimes even a sweater is too warm in my air conditioned office. I ask who gets to decide the limit on “fat-arm visibility?” Who decided that if you are over a certain size, you better at least put a shrug on the top – wouldn’t want anyone to see those soft, pillowy chunky upper arms. And yes – insert sarcasm here – best to hide them in a knit of some sort. I am freeing my arms from this restrictive and sizeist attitude. These are my arms – love em’ or leave em and in the meantime, I’ll be wearing something sleeveless as I enjoy this gorgeous summer.

Happy 4th of July

Have a great holiday everyone!

Low Heels in High Places

Are you like me in that you love the look of a high heel, but practicality rears it’s head and you live in ballet flats and pumas? I just watched the Sex and the City movie for the millionth time, a flick I adore for its pure excess and lack-of-reality elegance. (Note: It would be worth being dumped if only I could recover at a 5-star Mexican resort and have my apartment redone to my revamped glamorous liking.) My favorite moment is when the girls are sitting by the pool and Miranda gets upset and walks off in a huff wearing a bathing suit…and towering high heels. She’s at once indignant, but also sort of bow kneed and awkward storming away in those heels. It’s fabulous and ridiculous all at once. It makes my Midwestern sensibilities flare and ask, does no one sit by the pool barefoot anymore? When we're together like that, my friends and I cannot wait to get into our “gowns” meaning usually our pajamas (which in GGF’s case consists of a cashmere sweater and some Joan Vass knit pants. In mine, an Oscar de la Renta silk bathrobe..but who’s counting labels?) and heels have never become part of that equation.

In case you haven’t caught on, I am not a girl who would ever wear heels with a bathing suit.

That said, I covet the LOOK of heels. The Manolo Blahnik MaryJane is my ultimate fantasy shoe and if I thought I could wear it without needing a cane, I’d be oh so happy to oblige. Knee high stiletto black leather boots are also a look that can only be described as heavenly. But alas, my knees and back and other middle-aged body parts that are in pain in a way that can only be described as “Satan’s work” will not allow the wearing of such fabulous shoes. Is this fair? No. Is it ok? Yes.

The “low heel” approach has an unlikely ally these days in Vogue Magazine’s Andre Leon Tally. In a recent post on Vogue’s website, he eschewed the stiletto heel and stated:

“Do you think Katharine Hepburn would allow herself to fall victim to the stiletto? C. Z. Guest almost never wore high heels. Carolina Herrera wears heels all the time, but they are easy-to-walk-in 70mm Manolo Blahniks, or lower than three inches. Today’s devotees also include Kara Walker. I do like to see women who know how to glide gracefully along on a sensible low heel. So, designers: Can you stop the madness and dream up a new way to define your silhouette without a needle heel that defies not only gravity but elegance”

And on the tail of this, the fact that many designers are showing low/flat heels for fall. Take a cute from our stunning first lady Michelle Obama who is the most watched fashion icon of the moment and who often wears stylish low-heeled shoes.

This all leads me to picturing some of my favorite low-heeled shoes being shown for fall. And I know that I talk all the time about being seasonable, but it’s cold and rainy in Minneapolis today so indulge me in a little off-season planning ahead! Calvin Klein, Ports 1961, Marc by Marc Jacobs and Vena Cava have all shown flats for fall so sit back and enjoy this new, comfortable and achievable fantasy!! (Note: Today I am wearing black Liz Claiborne pointy-toe flats that I have been living in this summer. They rock with my black peg leg ankle pants and the big blousy Michael Kors silk blouse I have on..a little retro, a little stylish..and alot comfortable!)

Those shoes pictured below are: Burberry, Prada, Manalo Blahnik, Gucci, Cole Haan, Tory Burch and Kate Spade.