Women's Day of Wellness

If you are in the Twin Cities, I am speaking at a Women's Day of Wellness at the Sabes Jewish Community Center on Sunday November 1. I love that they are including my talk on body acceptance as part of a day of wellness as I think it really illustrates how people are understanding the fact that accepting who we are is the key to feeling good and being healthy in our bodies. It promises to be a really great day and I am totally I would love to see you there. Check out this link for more details as the brochure did not appear too well when I put it into this post!

https://www.sabesjcc.org

If it's Thursday it Must be Gray!

This sweater set is yesterday's on-line purchase from Nordstrom. Eileen Fisher. Both pieces. On sale. Heaven. I am giving a key note address at a women's day of wellness next week and want to wear this with flared black trousers and my black boots from Cole Haan. Add a fantastic necklace perhaps or a really awesome scarf. I'm in love with the simplicity.

Thoughts About Fat and Judgement

I started this blog because I love clothes. I am a fat woman and I love clothes. And with all my heart I believe that being fat and not falling into the fashion world's ideal of "acceptable" means that dressing with any sort of style or flair is a revolutionary act. After all, we are not expected to look good. We're fat. Aren't we supposed to be schlepping around in sloppy sweats because we're too lazy, fat, tired, ashamed, etc.. to even make an effort to look good?

But this blog has exposed me to the fatosphere and a world of health at any size and body acceptance. I am bombarded with news and stories and this week has been a particularly busy one in the fatosphere and the world of fat judgement as a whole. As a sampling, there is the whole "barbie having fat ankles" situation from shoe designer Christian Louboutin. There is the Jessica Simpson fat joke as seen in a Burger King ad. There was a news story about an obese child possibly being removed from his household by Child and Family Services in Florida as being obese is obviously a means of abuse. We are criminalizing being fat and where does that stop?

Pretty soon we'll be able to be pulled over and ticketed for driving while not on weight watchers.

I read an article by Megan McCain about how people are always commenting on her weight and making jokes. There is a man running for Governor in New Jersey who is fat and who is having his weight used against him as pointing him out as obviously undisciplined enough to run the state.

Is it my imagination, or are we just becoming meaner?

The fatosphere has opened my eyes to a variety of outlets and people who really get that to be fat is one way to live in this world. There are many ways to live, all of them with merit and the ability to live life fully and generously. Being fat should not, and will not, be a morality judgement in my life. Nor does it mean that I am less than anyone; that I am any less attractive or worthy as a person or a woman. I realize that not every man will be attracted to me. That's fine. I'm not attracted to every man. I realize that many people are going to judge me about my weight and that is fine too because you know what? I don't know those people and quite frankly, their opinions of me don't matter. I've seen alot of hatred and judgement from people who hide anonymously behind the Internet and their ability to post words that are mean and full of bile. Life is too short to be so angry at people that you are never going to change and quite honestly, I direct that to both sides of the coin. You are not expected to try to change me just as I know I'm not going to change your mind. That's ok because all you haters and meanies, I'm not giving you any more of my attention. Will they still be there? Of course. And I'll see their words and hear their words - but it doesn't mean I have to live their words. That's their reality.

This is mine:

1. I am a woman.
2. I am a daughter.
3. I am a sister.
4. I am an aunt.
5. I am a friend.
6. I am a stand up comic and writer.
7. I am creative and funny.
8. I am stylish.
9. I am occasionally grumpy and blue.
10. I am usually happy and content.
11. I am someone who loves to be in love.
12. I am open minded.
13. I am compassionate.
14. I am kind.
15. I am loyal.
16. I am 46 years old.
17. I am a city girl through and through.
18. I am an employee.
19. I am a cat owner.
20. I am unique and I am loved.

Stylish Sites

Some new favorite sites:

The Sartorialist
http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

This site rocks for the sheer love and presentation of fashion and design as interpreted by people on the street. Mind you, often the people on the street are in Paris waiting to get into the runway show at Chanel, but it is absolutely inspiring and graceful. Another reason to be devoted to this site is that when recently asked about the lack of plus size women photographed on his site, his reply was:

"When I am shooting on the street older women and larger size women often say "no" to my request to shoot them. Actually, much more than any other category of people I shoot. I think they have a real suspicion about how the image will be used. I also think there continues to be a growing disconnect between the fashion community and "average" women in general."

He gets it. We rock no matter what size we are. It's time for all of us..from size 2 to size 32..to embrace who we are. To trust that we can rock a look and be admired for it! To love what we wear and to always present in the best most fashionable way we can. It means only putting yourself in clothes that you love and that make a statement about how fabulous you are. It means making an effort, which fat women have been denied for so long, but not any more. I will no longer deny my style or my love of style, no matter what size I am and I invite you to do the same.

That leads me to another site that I just discovered:

The Manfattan Project
http://themanfattanproject.tumblr.com/

This amazing site takes off from the Sartorialist in presenting people on the street that have incredible style and grace. It's subtitle is "Real Fashion. Large Bodies".

The Official Website of Carrie Fisher (and the blog specifically)

http://carriefisher.com/

We all know Carrie Fisher as a youthful Princess Lea. We know her as the witty and wry author as one of my favorite books "Postcards from the Edge". And now, we are knowing her as an actress in her early 50's who is battling the tabloid obsession with perfection and youth. A recent post included the following and quite simply, I have decided that she is my new heroine!! Rock on Carrie Fisher! Her last comment put into words the way I felt after reading through a bunch of comments posted on CNN's website after United Airlines announced it's new policy of charging large passengers for a second seat. The vile and hatred in these anonymous comments was outrageous and like Ms. Fisher states here, all I could wonder was "how much do YOU weigh asshole and how did you decide that you were so absolutely flawless?" So, kudos for her for remaining true to herself and calling it all out so honestly!

"You see, I was hot when most people are hot—- in my fucking 20’s & part of my 30’s……THEN, in an effort to imitate humans, I had a child &, to further maintain my life like disguise, I took medications for about 9 thousand years, &, despite all my efforts, I continued to get older & older——inadvertently, I assure you———-I tried to arrest my development physically as WELL as emotionally, but unfortunately without as much success. I also must confess that I ate food. I’m sorry….. I realize that I promised never to eat anything but lettuce & sun flower seeds, but tragically, I was unable to keep my promise.

Yes, I realize…..I KNOW that I vowed to exercise for 3 hours a day—-aerobics, pilates AND yoga, but alas, I admit with a large quota of shame, that I failed to fulfill this other important commitment. NO, I shouldn’t look as if 30 years have passed. I understand completely if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me for looking like 3 decades have passed…….Of COURSE you should mock & belittle me for being so large!! What else could you POSSIBLY do?????!? I’ve let you down by treating my body as though it were just some giant sad sack that I use to haul my personality around. You have every right to compare me to Yoda or Elton or Kirstie…….I’ve brought it on myself.

But here’s this thing that I found myself wondering………what the fuck do YOU look like??! "

Three Divas Take Over Northern Minnesota Town

The Three Divas - that's me, Brenda Elsagher and Rox Tarrant in the photo above - took over the Northern Minnesota town of Crookston on September 25 when we performed at the amazing breast cancer research fundraiser "Shirley's BRAdway Show"! The event was a smashing success and I invite you check out this link for a review of the show.

http://www.crookstontimes.com/opinions/x1991989801/Three-divas-diffuse-the-stereotypical-comedian-myth

Not to brag but the Three Divas are three hiliarious and yes, plus size, women who perform stand up comedy that is positive, real and inspiring. We dispel the stereotype that is often found in the stand up comedy world that women cannot work together because they all talk about the same thing (that is the subject of an entirely separate post) while we cover topics as diverse as our own lives ranging from being married to a Muslim Egyptian (Brenda), size acceptance (Jodie) and the kookiness of family (Rox). Each of us refuses to conform to society's expectations of women as it pertains to size and body acceptance, instead choosing to celebrate the women we are at this very moment which is big, beautiful, and frickin' hilarious!

So, our thanks to Shirley Reitmeier the superwoman who organized this amazing event in less than two months and had a sell-out crowd of almost 400. And thanks also to Renee Wall Rongen who MC'd the show and is an accomplished public speaker in her own right. And by the way, wears a boa made entirely of bras really really well! Maybe you had to be there....