Pride in St. Cloud

A huge thank you to my friend, the incredibly funny diva Jason Schommer, for asking me to attend a fund raiser for the St. Cloud (MN) pride celebration last night.  We absolutely had a blast on stage and rocked the house at PJs and the pride celebrants in attendance!  Laughter really is the best medicine, especially when it occurs on a stage that includes a stripper pole.  My only regret was my outfit, which consisted of gray trousers that made me feel like Madonna in the "Express Yourself" video circa 1989.  No one wears a monacle quite like Madge. 

A Spring in My Step

Speak Softly but Carry a Big Handbag

I've been such a good girl.  Financially that is.  I have not bought a new handbag since late last summer when I purchased a black Kate Spade satchel to take on my NYC trip.  I told myself at the time "this bag is getting you through winter" and little did I know how prophetic that was.  When I lost my day job in November, I was thrown kicking and scheming into a new frugal reality and I learned two things:  I hate frugal and I hate reality!

But yesterday, as a Valentine's present to moi, I broke down and purchased the most lucious and glam bag.  Let's just say, not recieving a dozen red roses from someone special can certainly spur a girl to some impulsive moves in the name of self preservation!  The bag I purchases is GUESS by Marciano, which is a fashion-forward brand extension of Guess.  The photo above is the bag in red leather but mine is actually a soft, cushy heather gray suede.  This bag is not only big enough to carry my essentials (yes, I do carry bottles of Diet Coke in my handbag), but it's also a little bit rock star and a little bit Park Avenue society.  Or, since I'm from Minneapolis..it's a little bit Paisley Park and a little bit Edina Country Club!  Of course it has put me in a shopping mood so I had to pair it up with some fun new items for spring.  Trust me, it's coming..it really is!  B&Lu has some really cute new things (and a new look to their site), including the simple Inga dress pictured above.  I also found a pair of dream booties on the Piper Lime site.  I was a bit skeptical of the bootie craze and perhaps it's run it's course, but they are still showing them in droves for spring so what the Halson.  They're fun because you can wear a heel but as a platform, it saves your feet just a little! 

A note on handbag size.  While I was at the Mall of America yesterday, I observed many women of size carrying teeny tiny little handbags.  It's like they're carrying a Barbie Dream Purse.  Simply put, I'm a big girl and I carry a big bag.  It's all about proportion.  Handbags can be the easiest way to not only update your look, but bring your entire look together and the proportion is a big part of it. 

The dress pictured above is in grey and I threw in some black and white as well.  Color always starts popping with spring lines and I love the freshness of bright celedon and pink as well as the next person, but I also say - wear your favorite colors regardless of the season.  I don't wear pink no matter how hot it is because it not only does not look good on me, but I am a girl who loves and looks good in her darker colors and that's what I buy and what I wear no matter what.  If I feel the need for color, I pop on a gorgeous scarf or fabulous shoes.  A handbag is also a great way to change up the look as well and there are great colors out there for this spring, including beautiful blues that can even be worn as a neutral.  In fact, the navy Marc Jacobs bag below is going to be my next purchase (and that Anna Scholz top and the Ferrago flats aren't too shabby either!) 

Stiletto..After All These Years

Confucius say: Woman in winter boots with stiletto heels very foolish if living in Minnesota.

Did you know that in Minnesota, they sell winter boots with stiletto heels?

Aside from the fact that I relish the idea of “hurting” the snow as I walk through it wearing a nail thin pointy heel, the other side of me wonders in what weird alternate reality would winter boots with a stiletto be, well, sensible in Minnesota? Note – I realize this makes me sound like my mother and in this case, I am willing to live with that. In fact, I have been known to wear my "work" clothes all evening long and NOT changing into my "casual" clothes, so I have not totally and completely sold out to my mother's sensibilities.

To be honest, I have not seen any women walking through the copious amounts of snow and slush currently on the ground here in stiletto heeled winter boots. And look, I live in the heart of Minneapolis. This is the big Midwestern city. Where are these boots snow-bound fashionistas? Maybe outside the city proper, a stiletto boot is more apropos in a suburb like Edina where the housefraus’ can wear them as they discipline the help? Maybe those affluent suburban gals can wear them as they go from heated garage to heated parking ramp to heated charity event and back around again. But if that’s the case, why even wear the winter boot? Why not a cute sandal to show off the pedicure that still looks good from your trip to Martinique over New Year’s?

In Minnesota, true adulthood is not realized when you have a child. Oh no. Adulthood is a state of purchasing and wearing sensible and warm winter clothing, to include boots that not only keep you warm, but also dry. Cute looks are totally optional as you enter this phase of your life. It usually comes between the idealism of your 20’s and the bitter reality of your 50’s. This year I bought not only my first really great pair of winter boots I have ever owned but in an effort to be semi-fashionable, I bought my first pair of Uggs. The “so ugly they are adorable” boot starlets and fashion mavens discovered a few years ago, they are the boot version of the member’s only jacket, i.e., they never seem to go away. They practically double the square footage of my feet and what’s really exciting is that I’m quite sure I can also water ski on them this summer due to this wide width. They are warm and dry and lined with fleece. I love them but do NOT look like the throngs of younger women who wear their Uggs with tight tight jeans and plaid shirts like little lumberjack lolitas. Mine are black suede on the bottom with a knit shaft and a cute little ring of sheep fleece on the top. They are adorable but a little matronly. They are not hot. My friend David thinks the word “ugg” pretty much describes them actually. But I don’t care because I’m not afraid of slipping or of sloppy, slushy ponds of water as I cross the street to buy a new handbag that will never touch the snowy, salty mess we live in right now.

Back to the issue at hand. Stiletto heels on winter boots. I’m a stylish, fashion-loving gal. I wear heels that only cause pain largely only in my arches, because that’s the way it’s always been done. A winter (i.e., snow) boot with stiletto heels sounds like a broken hip waiting to happen and frankly, who needs that?

Well THAT makes Sense

On Sunday, while innocently perusing the magazines at my local up-scale grocery story (hello Lunds you sexy thing), I was subject to a weight comment by the man standing behind me in line. I had picked up a copy of the Weight Watchers magazine, only to have this man say quite loudly "Well...THAT makes sense!" He was alone and not on the phone. He was not looking at any magazines himself. That comment was directed at me. Fat me looking at a weight loss magazine. And in my stunned silence, it was my turn to hit the register and leave so I did not say a thing. And that pissed me off big time.

Let's get beyond the fact that this man felt it necessary to commnent on a total stranger. His lack of boundaries. Let's even get beyond wondering if perhaps he has a social disease of some sort..the kind that renders it's victims unable to filter the thoughts in their head from their ever-moving mouths, making us all victims of their self-defined wisdom and brilliance. Let's instead look at what makes a complete stranger feel they have a right to comment on something that is just none of their business. The right to feel that someone's body is somehow public domain and open to scruitiny and judgement. I'm not naive enough to think that we are not looking at each other and making judgements in our minds, but most of us have the decency to keep it to ourselves.

In some ways, this is no different really than walking by a construction site and getting wolf whistles and catcalls from the workers. It's all about judgement and all about women's bodies being considered public property for men to oogle, judge, fantasize about, be repelled by, and comment on. And that pissed me off.

But in the midst of my anger..and yes, I was angry, I suddenly realized that old saying "what you think of me is none of my business." I love that sentiment. People are always going to have opinions and judgement. The fact that this man felt inclined to share his, has no reflection on me. That is a liberating thought. What you think of me is none of my business.

I now realize that if I could go back, I would simply turn to him and smile warmly and say "I really wish you a happy day and love in your life." I wouldn't perpetuate his negative mood by adding to it with my own. He has no bearing on how I live my life and maybe he's really unhappy with his to feel it so necessary to put his negativity out in the universe. So...super positive powers ignite. I'm turning it around to something positive and THAT makes sense!