However, I do believe that life is one big “during.” That our "during" photo is the one that counts and the one that we should cultivate and grow and love completely. I also believe having a stunning “during” photo has nothing to do with what you weigh and the size or shape of your body.
It’s December 30, 2009 and I’m watching the Today show. One of the stories this morning is the annual People Magazine story that heralds “They’ve lost half their body weight” and many of those featured in the article are appearing on the air. Let me state for the record that I realize that losing half your body weight is an incredible feat and I know the work that went into it. They all lost a lot of weight by eating and exercising – not through fads or surgery and good for them. We each get to make our own decisions about what we do with and to our bodies.
What really hits me during this story is the "before" photos. They all show people wearing sloppy, unstylish, oversized sweatshirts and sweatpants and sports jerseys, shapeless mom jeans, wrinkled t-shirts and sneakers. There is no one smiling in even one of the photos. They are the stereotypical images of what we think fat people should look like. Miserable and yeah, why would I not want to change if this is me living my life. Here is the catch: this is what the media shows us and this is what we buy into. We are not expected to be happy or stylish is we are large.
Let me state for the record: I do not do sweatshirts.
As a contrast, one of the featured weight losers came onto the show in a stunning purple silk dress and heels. She looked really incredible and yet, I sat there completely pissed off because you know what? You can wear a purple dress when you weigh 150 pounds, but you can also wear a purple dress when you weigh 300 pounds. What would happen if we changed the paradigm of what it means to take care of ourselves? If you weigh 300 pounds, you may chose to try to eat and move in such a way as to lose weight and do it. But if you weigh 300 pounds and don’t lose weight, you can also wear a beautiful purple silk dress and heels and look amazing. You can be more than a sloppy "before" picture. It makes me angry that more is not expected from us. That we are ghettoized and excused from anything stylish or good looking.
But what if we really challenge this? What if we do not fit into that stereotypical "before" picture? What if instead we took ourselves into the world of style and fashion and embraced it? What if we knew we were beautiful without losing weight? What if we only wore clothes we loved and that we knew made us look amazing? What if we had a stylish haircut and manicure and left the house every morning knowing that we rocked our look? What if we embraced that taking care of ourselves could mean more than losing weight and we chose to live each day as fully and passionately as possible?
I started blogging because I love clothes. I am a fat woman and I love clothes. And with all my heart I believe that being fat and not falling into the fashion world's ideal of "acceptable" means that dressing with any sort of style or flair is a revolutionary act. After all, we are not expected to look good. We're fat. Aren't we supposed to be schlepping around in sloppy sweats because we're too lazy, fat, tired, ashamed, etc.. to even make an effort to look good?
My point is – doesn’t it all feed off itself? If I walk around wearing clothes I hate; ugly, big, baggy clothes, doesn’t it make sense that my sense of self esteem might just take a hit? It seems so simple. When I walk out the door wearing clothes I love and an outfit I know I look great it – it colors my entire day. I love being the best version of myself.
I dare you. Wear a purple dress today!
