If Clothes Make the Man...

This month’s More Magazine has an interesting opening from the Editor. In it, she discusses her old boss, a high-powered editor at a leading fashion magazine, who drew attention for wearing the exact same outfit to work 2 days in the same week. Mind you, the outfit was a Chanel suit, but this was apparently unheard of in that rarified world. It was, however, the beginning of dressing as a way to show not only who you are, but what you believe in. It was dressing for investment and esteem’s sake.

This tags onto conversations I’ve had with two friends this week about our wardrobes. In both instances, I was noted for putting a lot of time, energy and money into her clothes. One of my friends was shocked to hear what I spend yearly on clothes and commented that she hadn’t shopped for clothes in two years and just spent $250 on clothes that will last her another two years. Her inference was that I was frivolous to be spending so much time and/or money on my look.

My other friend shops more regularly and our discussion hinged more on fit and what works and what doesn’t. But it was clear that unlike me, she would never just wander into Saks or Bloomies to see what’s new and walk about with a shopping bag. All in all, both conversations made me look at myself and clarified the simple fact that I love clothes and find how I present myself to the world as being very important.

As a plus size woman, part of the way I celebrate who I am is by what I wear. In some ways it serves as a form of armor. Are we not, as plus size women, labeled in all sort of derogatory ways? Are we not constantly reminded by the world around us that we are not good enough because of our size? I decided a long time ago that no one got to label me but me and part of this is based on the clothes I wear and the “me” I present to the world. And what it comes down to is that I am better in this world when I feel fabulous and comfortable in how I look. For example, I have one dress in particular that I love to wear when I’m feeling sassy and sexy. It’s a simply jersey dress in a gorgeous eggplant and black concentric circle design – it fits me perfectly and I love what it does to me. I walk differently. I carry myself differently. And I am noticed differently than when I’m wearing, say, a black pantsuit. I compare that to how I feel in baggy old stretch pants with an over-sized t-shirt. I don’t move in the same way and quite honestly, I don’t feel good about myself at all.

I guess what I’m saying is, if actresses and celebrities can be celebrated for their wardrobes - why can’t I? I make no apologies for where I spend my money and the clothes I love to purchase and wear. I wear my favorite items over and over and over and I delight in doing so. I dream and scheme and shop for the next season and eagerly anticipate when I get to wear that incredible dress I just bought for spring and how it’s going to feel! My clothes may be from Saks or they may be from Target, but they serve to make me feel prettier, sexier and stylish. I am worth stepping out the door wearing clothes that I love and that help me feel great. I am worth buying clothes that I love and that I can afford and I am worth never apologizing for that. I see the inherent beauty in the beloved clothes we put next to our skin. Life is too short to do it any other way.

Quite simply - if clothes make the man, is it too much to expect that they can also make the woman?

R.I.P. Figure Magazine

I was saddened to find out that Figure magazine is ceasing publication and deleting it's on-line presence with their March/April 2009 issue. Figure wasn't perfect and was limited primarily to clothing from the Charming Shoppes brands (i.e., Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug), but it was all we had. Their features on relationships, food, travel and other lifestyle topics were always informative and always encouraged women to live life fully and creatively regardless of our size. Plus sizes are featured more often in other publications such as O Magazine and More; even Vogue has done fashion looks up to size 16. But until women of all sizes are featured with the same reverence and presence as our sisters who wear smaller sizes in all mainstream publications on a regular, monthly basis (can you hear me Harper's Bazaar, WWD, Marie Claire, Elle and Allure?) we truly need a publication dedicated to our fashion and lifestyle. Can you imagine the roar if Anna Wintour put a lucious, beautiful size 22 women on the cover of Vogue? It makes me giddy to just think about it. Surely, there is a plus size Carrie Bradshaw or two or three..or hundreds..walking the streets of NYC, LA and every place in between that would love to be celebrated on the cover of such an illustrious publication. Quite frankly, I am still mourning Mode Magazine, which was really the first high-end glossy dedicated to women size 12 and up, and now this. May Figure rest in peace and may someone out there realize that this underserved market is just waiting for the next magazine.

Look Before Dressing

In the immortal words of Mr. Shakespeare: To wear a size 22 or not wear a size 22? That, my friends, is the question.

When we plus-size women go clothing shopping, it usually results in slipping into this sort of "size never-never land” mentality. Our rational mind, the one that makes sure we look both ways before crossing the street, suddenly leaves. The dialogue in our heads goes something like: "I may feel better putting these jeans in a size 20, but I have always been a size 18. I'm so sure I'm a size 18 that I'll squeeze every ounce into this pair of size 18s even though the waist pinches and the thighs are way too tight. If I'm not bloated, I'll bet I could even wear a 16! I've never been a size 20; I'll never be a size 20. I'm a size 18. Now, throw me those pliers so I can get these off and take them to the register." Then you take said jeans home and never wear them because you know what? They're too tight. And they chafe and hurt you around the waist. Then you wash them and they become even tighter and you have to lie down on the bed to even try to zip them up and eventually they end up in a heap on the floor of your closet and the whole things starts over again. You've not only wasted your money, you've squandered a bit more of your shaky sense of self and body image.

We've crossed before looking both ways and got slammed by oncoming traffic.

All of this drama because of a little number on a little tag in a place that no one can see on your clothing? That's a lot of power to give such a tiny piece of fabric with a number on it that no one can even see. Buying the right size in our clothing makes all the difference in the world and, everybody repeat after me: The numbers on the labels ultimately don't mean anything.

Let me repeat it: the numbers that are supplied on the clothes that designate a size ultimately don't mean anything

Look, sizing standards suck, but I have an idea. I once dated a man who loved my body. "You're so wonderfully soft and cuddly" he'd say. And it sounds really sweet and as I look back on his admiration, I wonder, what if, instead of numbers, clothing was sized with wording? Instead of a 2 or an 18, you could try jeans on in a "cuddly" or "diva." You could be a size 28 in a traditional sense, yet wear a dress size "glorious!"

Of course, a size 2 would have to go into a clothing boutique and ask to see something in a "famished.”

Each clothing manufacturer has a fit model on which it determine its sizes. If the fit model has a bit more hip, its clothing line will generally have a bit more hip. A size 20 in that line may fit you perfectly; meaning another label, whose fit might be narrower through the hips, probably won't fit you as well. And, stay with me here, you may have to get a 22 from that manufacturer

That's not so terrible is it? I managed a women's clothing store that featured sizes 14-24. Ninety-five percent of the women who came through our door had to be talked into wearing the sizes that look best, i.e., the size that fit. They wanted everything either hang on them like a sack, thinking that if it's bigger, their body looked smaller, or, they wanted everything a size or two smaller than it really should have been. And all it taught me is that one of the best ways to actually look fat is to wear clothing that doesn't fit well.

So what's my point? It's simple. Let's relinquish the power of those numbers to make us feel bad. Let's commit to buying those items of clothing that fit and feel and look fantastic on our bodies. Because isn't it ultimately about accepting the shapes of our bodies? Isn't it about respecting ourselves enough to put on clothes that actually fit our bodies and that we can feel fantastic in, regardless of our measurements? I think it is and I hope you will too! Happy dressing!

We're Going to Rock This Town

A couple of weeks ago I had lunch with my dear friend Jim. When we were going down the escalator in Gaviidae Center, Brian Setzer, the cool cat rockabilly musician/singer, was going up and passed on our left. Besides the fact that he looked so smoking hot, it made me think about the whole rockabilly image because girls, he was working his look even at 12:30 pm on a weekday. In other words – I think it’s who he is.

So – this one is for all the rockabilly plus size girls out there. I realize that not all of us are lusting after Prada boat shoes. Some of us are hoping for gingham or leather and a cute guy to go with it, preferably with a cool motorcycle and guitar. These looks from Torrid will let you rock this town and look sassy and sexy doing it. And besides, is that pencil skirt not to die for?

All Together Now..With Color!

I am a woman with a current wardrobe best described as “funereal”. In other words – there is a lot of black, some grey and then some more black.

It would appear that I am in mourning for the loss of color.

This is going to change as my only mission for spring is to fill my closet with a bouquet of colorful separates and pieces that will help me wake up from the long Minnesota winter.

Here are a few of my current favorites.

I just ordered the Rachel Pally White Label “Gina” ruched dress in basil on-line from Nordstrom. Since it was on sale, it was probably a winter piece – but it has an air of spring in the color and the flutter sleeves make it wearable into the next season. Nordstrom is one of my favorite stores – the Encore Shop is the best and mine has even been featuring a few Marina Rinaldi pieces over the last few months. Rock on Nordstrom Mall of America! Also, Rachel Pally is a label I’ve been dying to try. She’s a Los Angeles based designer who works in jersey and is dedicated to providing quality, comfort and style to women of all sizes. And since she’s based in Los Angeles, there is a definite celebrity cache attached. Who would have ever thought I might be wearing the same dress as Nicole Ritchie? The line definitely has a bit of that boho-hippie-chick feel. I’d better order a brilliant Vera scarf to wear as a head wrap. Ohhh ladies…the look is coming together as I type! Check out Rachel Pally’s website at http://www.rachelpally.com/.

If you read my first post, you’ll see that I adore adore ADORE Isaac Mizrahi’s new Liz Claiborne line. In fact, I was informed today that 8 pages of the next O Magazine are dedicated to the spring pieces, so line up now. Once Oprah is involved, you KNOW it’s going to be hot. It’s going to be a huge boost for Liz Claiborne. This dress is one piece that I must have and it comes in plus sizes so lucky me. I am swooning over the crisp navy with white interlocking squares – it has a bit of retro style with a very modern shape. Wear it with spectator pumps for work, and slip on some cute ballet flats and a cardigan and you have an easy casual piece as well. Not to quote my mother, but you can never go wrong with a shirtwaist dress!

You may have read that the “it” bag is over. And really, it’s about time – who cares if Sienna Miller gets another bag named for her. That said – I do love my handbags and like the rest of my wardrobe – most of mine are black. That’s changing this spring and shown here is my dream bag that I am going to scrimp and save to take home. It’s Tory Burch’s “Jill” chain strap satchel. The color is perfect and her pieces are incredible; I lived in a pair of her reva ballet flats like they were slippers and got more compliments on them than any other shoes I’ve owned (and I’ve owned a lot of shoes.) This great bag would compliment any summer wardrobe and again, has a great retro style with the chain but a modern shape and color combo.

So ladies – these are a few of my favorite pieces. I’ll be updating regularly as it warms up outside (and even if it doesn’t.) You see – there is no need to be shopping at the House of Large Sizes (does anyone from Minnesota remember this store? I used to go with my grandmother. I seem to recall a lot of polyester tunics with ric rac around the pockets. Shudder.) There is fantastic stuff out there for women of all sizes – you just have to know where to look and how to put it all together! Make it swoon-worthy!

Wish List

My top ten wish list of things I’d like from retailers:

1. A white crew neck t-shirt. Why is it so difficult to find a well-made, crisp white t-shirt that is not a scoop neck? The same t-shirt that is available in a size M in a crew neck is available in a size 2X as a scoop neck. What is that all about? Retailers take note – we want quality basics and this tops my list.

2. Clothing that is not more expensive because it’s a larger size. I notice this everywhere and even had Target tell me that they price their larger sizes higher because they use more materials. In that case, shouldn’t a medium cost more than a small, a large more than a medium, a 2X more than a 1X? You get my drift. Something to think about

3. Knee high boots in a variety of heel heights that will fit my calves. And not cheap, plastic boots that some smaller boutiques feature. I want a quality boot that I can purchase when I walk into Macy’s or Bloomies. If I love them, I’ll buy them.

4. Pretty panties. Seriously. Most department stores have a great selection of undergarments, but the pretty ones stop much smaller than I wear. I love basic white cotton – but some lace and silk is nice too!

5. Boutiques that carry my size in store, not just on-line. If you don’t want me in your stores, you will not get my money. That’s pretty simple. Also, the few times I have purchased something such as a handbag or pair of shoes at stores like Banana Republic, the sales associate asks if I’d like to open their charge card. My standard response is to smile and politely reply, “I would love to when you carry clothing in my size.” They look at me like I’ve just spit in their coffee. It’s simple…carry clothing in my size in your store.

6. Retailers and designers who realize that large size does not equal dowdy. Also – we don’t all want beaded and appliquéd anything. Seriously, do I look like I want to wear a Christmas sweatshirt? Being large doesn’t equate to being old or wanting to dress like my grandmother.

7. Department stores that include clothing in my size in their windows. I shop there too!

8. A woman’s clothing department that isn’t hidden away in the dark recesses of larger stores. How about a women’s department that is front and center, that is staffed with knowledgeable and helpful sales associates, and that has great music, comfortable dressing rooms, and stylish displays. How about a department store that has roundtable discussions with their plus size customers to see what WE want to wear?

9. Target to stop making the woman’s plus size department overflow for every other clothing sale rack and maternity. It feels like a dumping ground and seriously, is not a nice place to shop. It would also be nice if Target worked with a known designer to have a great line in women’s plus sizes. You do it all the time with misses’ sizes. Isn’t it our turn yet?

10. Respect, choice, style.

Swooning

I’m swooning alot these days. Sometimes it’s a good swoon. Liz Claiborne’s new Isaac Mizrahi designed line is totally swoon-worthy. It doesn’t all come in my size - but much of it does and it works. A fantastic shirtwaist dress in crisp navy and white is a special stand out and one that is sure to end up in my closet for spring. I am in fact, wearing a the line’s navy and white striped boat-neck tunic as I write this. It’s shaped perfectly and has just enough spandex to keep it crisp and fitted - but not bind. A big hug to Isaac, who is a designer who loves woman in all shapes and sizes.

By the way, the dress in the photo to the right. Total swoon for Anna Scholz. Check out her website. Brilliant clothes for women in all shapes and sizes.

Kohl’s affordable new Dana Buchman line is in stores now, but not in plus sizes. I have been informed by Kohl's that it will be in women's sizes in September. It's a swoon-worthy line. In fact, I am a woman who used to wear Dana Buchman all the time when her clothing was a more expensive line. It was one of the few options for larger women who wanted fashionable, well-made pieces that would carry her through more than one season. Now, Dana is designing for Kohl’s and the pieces are updated classics such as a khaki safari jacket with flirty lining, great trousers, and colorful cardigans.

Until September however, I wonder why us larger gals are not given the same options right away? Why does the number on the tag mean that I can't get the same piece as someone's whose number is smaller? Is this a case of "we are larger than...so we are less than?" Is it so difficult to imagine that we want the same well-made and affordable clothes as our skinnier sisters? And is it that much harder to make a jacket in a size 20 than in a size 10?

Let's be honest. The days of big girls wearing nothing but shapeless sweaters and elastic-waisted pants with sneakers are over. And if you are still in that mode - it’s time to move on. It’s up to us to break through the fabric ceiling and let retailers and designers know that we expect the same clothes as women in misses sizes. They are not going to get there on their own. Until they think we care, it is not going to change.

Style is not limited to women who wear a size 2. Sorry Victoria Beckham and Anna Wintour. This blog is my call to arms. Or shall we say, my call to sleeves. You will see my musings on being a plus size woman who does not want to be defined by her size but rather her vivacious and brilliant style. My first order of business is to beseech you to write, email or call your department stores and big box retailers. Let them know that you want the same clothing options as your smaller sisters. Let them know that you are insulted to have to hunt for your sizes and why are they located in a back corner behind maternity and kids? Why don’t they feature outfits in all sizes in their windows?

Are we going to continue to allow our clothing and, indeed, ourselves, to be ghettoized? I think not.

Bottom line: What you wear should be swoon-worthy. Some people get it..some don’t. My money is the same way; some people get it, some don't.