Look Before Dressing

In the immortal words of Mr. Shakespeare: To wear a size 22 or not wear a size 22? That, my friends, is the question.

When we plus-size women go clothing shopping, it usually results in slipping into this sort of "size never-never land” mentality. Our rational mind, the one that makes sure we look both ways before crossing the street, suddenly leaves. The dialogue in our heads goes something like: "I may feel better putting these jeans in a size 20, but I have always been a size 18. I'm so sure I'm a size 18 that I'll squeeze every ounce into this pair of size 18s even though the waist pinches and the thighs are way too tight. If I'm not bloated, I'll bet I could even wear a 16! I've never been a size 20; I'll never be a size 20. I'm a size 18. Now, throw me those pliers so I can get these off and take them to the register." Then you take said jeans home and never wear them because you know what? They're too tight. And they chafe and hurt you around the waist. Then you wash them and they become even tighter and you have to lie down on the bed to even try to zip them up and eventually they end up in a heap on the floor of your closet and the whole things starts over again. You've not only wasted your money, you've squandered a bit more of your shaky sense of self and body image.

We've crossed before looking both ways and got slammed by oncoming traffic.

All of this drama because of a little number on a little tag in a place that no one can see on your clothing? That's a lot of power to give such a tiny piece of fabric with a number on it that no one can even see. Buying the right size in our clothing makes all the difference in the world and, everybody repeat after me: The numbers on the labels ultimately don't mean anything.

Let me repeat it: the numbers that are supplied on the clothes that designate a size ultimately don't mean anything

Look, sizing standards suck, but I have an idea. I once dated a man who loved my body. "You're so wonderfully soft and cuddly" he'd say. And it sounds really sweet and as I look back on his admiration, I wonder, what if, instead of numbers, clothing was sized with wording? Instead of a 2 or an 18, you could try jeans on in a "cuddly" or "diva." You could be a size 28 in a traditional sense, yet wear a dress size "glorious!"

Of course, a size 2 would have to go into a clothing boutique and ask to see something in a "famished.”

Each clothing manufacturer has a fit model on which it determine its sizes. If the fit model has a bit more hip, its clothing line will generally have a bit more hip. A size 20 in that line may fit you perfectly; meaning another label, whose fit might be narrower through the hips, probably won't fit you as well. And, stay with me here, you may have to get a 22 from that manufacturer

That's not so terrible is it? I managed a women's clothing store that featured sizes 14-24. Ninety-five percent of the women who came through our door had to be talked into wearing the sizes that look best, i.e., the size that fit. They wanted everything either hang on them like a sack, thinking that if it's bigger, their body looked smaller, or, they wanted everything a size or two smaller than it really should have been. And all it taught me is that one of the best ways to actually look fat is to wear clothing that doesn't fit well.

So what's my point? It's simple. Let's relinquish the power of those numbers to make us feel bad. Let's commit to buying those items of clothing that fit and feel and look fantastic on our bodies. Because isn't it ultimately about accepting the shapes of our bodies? Isn't it about respecting ourselves enough to put on clothes that actually fit our bodies and that we can feel fantastic in, regardless of our measurements? I think it is and I hope you will too! Happy dressing!