Sundress Heaven

I found the most incredible website called eShakti (http://www.eshakti.com/default.asp). They make designer clothing for women in custom size as well as standard sizes. You can make your tops shorter or change sleeve lengths for example. And the standard sizes go to 3X. Rock on!

Pictured are a few of the many pieces that grabbed my attention. Personally, I am in sundress overload with all of their gorgeous vibrant warm-weather colors. I want them all! Enjoy.

Coming Home to Acceptance

I went to a fantastic book reading and signing last night featuring Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby, who read from their new book Lessons from the Fatosphere. Aside from how absolutely hot and funny and adorable they both are (yes, I feel like a groupie), what was really obvious is their commitment, passion and knowledge around body acceptance. It felt a bit like coming home and I'm appreciative of both of them, their respective Blogs (Shapely Prose and The Rotund), and this growing movement of acceptance of bodies of all sizes and shapes and the reality that health is available at any size. Rock on!

Perfect Size

I would like to thank the Somalian cab driver who proposed to me recently and not only that, opened my eyes to how body acceptance and standards are so different by culture.

I had just gotten into a cab and we hadn't left the parking lot when it came. "Are you married?" he asked. To be honest, this is a question I've gotten used to it since a) I take cabs fairly often and almost all of the drivers in Minneapolis are Somali men, and b) they seem to like large women and I have fielded more than one marriage proposal. Sometimes I'm not up for the ensuing conversation and questions about why I am not married so I lie. This evening, not feeling well and exhausted, I simply replied, "No, I'm not married."

His reaction was incredulous and immediate. "But you are a beautiful woman..BEAUTIFUL! You are the perfect size...PERFECT SIZE!"

Aside from the fact that I felt like if I was a cantaloupe, he would have been knocking on my rind to see if I was ripe, I was totally blown away by this comment. In this country, never would my size be considered perfect. I accept my size and am a passionate advocate for body acceptance at any size, but let's be honest, the magazines and media we are surrounded with do anything BUT let us accept ourselves just as we are. What I finally realized was that in the country he was from, being large is probably a sign of prosperity and financial wealth. Quite simply, if you have money, you eat. On a continent where many are starving to death daily, food is quite the litmus test of prestige.

So, with his words in my head and a good story to tell, I continue to face the world every day as a size 22. I accept who I am at all times and I encourage others to do the same. If you're starving yourself in the pursuit of an unobtainable beauty ideal, remember that there is someone in this world who would literally die to have a fraction of what we do. Treat yourself with kindness and love and that means eating to nourish and live.

And...to all the skinny girls I encounter who look down their noses at me because of my size, I say to them that I may be large in your eyes, but in Somalia, I am a frigging QUEEN! While many of you fear never having a marriage proposal by the time they turn 30..I cannot get past $5.00 on the meter without one.

And while I'm at it..off with your heads! It's good to be the Queen!

In the Good Ol' On Sale Summertime

"Darling..remember. A lady carries a handbag and purses her lips." - My friend Randy Reetz

First of all, my friend Randy will be thrilled I quoted him. At one time he was the designer handbag buyer for Dayton's (all of you Midwestern readers will remember Dayton's with a heavy sigh of "we so miss you!") and this quote has stuck with me like designers to leather. Hmmm...a pun of sorts. Anyhew, I never refer to my bags as purses and let's just say he's very proud.

Heads up everyone! I've been perusing the summer sale activity and have found a bonanza out there on-line. For starters, check out Liz Claiborne (http://www.lizclaiborne.com/) for some serious summer sale action! Who needs the beach when you can bask in the glow of a new handbag? In a week or so, this gorgeous Olivia satchel in natural will be in my hot little hands......and yes, I'm drooling already and impatient to receive it! For me, this is the bane of ordering on-line. When I purchase something, I want to wear it or use it immediately! I shop for the season (i.e., no winter wool for this girl in the middle of July) which I've been told is very European so how every continental and chic of me! But, back to the subject at hand (no pun intended.) All of my handbags are black and I'm excited to throw this into the mix to take me into fall. The natural color will allow it go with everything and it was on sale for $74.99 which was half price. There are also oodles of other bags with delicious prices, including this (yes, basic black) satchel for only $39.99:

We do all need our black bags and how very proper this particular one happens to be.

It's not a handbag, but I had to add that I have ordered my first items ever at J. Jill. I hope their sizing runs true as I have a show next Friday evening and would like to wear this jacket:

For $54.99, this is a great basic that can be paired with pants, jeans, skirts, dresses..the works. I'll add a basic cami underneath and wear some great flared jeans with sandals and some chunky jewelry and find a perfect mix of trend and style. If I'm lucky, the Liz bag will arrive in time to pair with it all! J.Jill has some lovely pieces marked down as well. They have a definite sort of "we are middle-aged and we like linen but can't afford Eileen Fisher" look but sometimes that's what you are looking for! I'm excited to see how I like the jacket (and the top I purchased which is a linen pull-over.)

A note: I usually don't shop on-line at stores that don't carry my size in the stores, but every now and again I find something so good I can't resist. I'm only human..and a total clothes horse to boot. Soooo...so much for political point-making. Pet peeve alert: I also hate when items are only shown on one particularly model-skinny body type. Enough said.

Belly Laughs

I have finally conquered by belly hatred. What I mean is that my belly has been a source of great irritation. Doesn’t every woman have one spot on her body that bothers her more than the rest? Mine was my belly. I always felt like, well, its round. It jiggles. It’s flabby. It’s soft.

Wait a minute. Since when was soft a bad thing?

Seriously, my belly has been the bane of my existence. It’s where I carry weight and before I was more accepting, it drove me crazy. In fact, if I puff it out just so, I can look pregnant. Sometimes I sit in a chair and stick my belly out as far as it will go and rub it in that nurturing way pregnant women do, and I pretend. Sick huh? Because for so long it felt like pregnancy was the only way I could validate my round belly.

Now, just so you don’t think I sat around totally berating myself all day, I have always loved my feet. They are adorable. Seriously, they get compliments from strangers. With a great pedicure, they are perfect. I always felt like if I could just put a bikini on my feet and go to the beach, I’d be a perfect 10.

Anyways. I got to thinking about my belly one day. It always felt so large to me. And then I started to think of perspective and my feelings began to soften. Next to, say, a spoon, my belly is sort of big. Next to a pencil? Larger. But next to the sofa, it’s not really that big at all. Next to a car, it doesn't even register.

Next to the moon my belly is microscopic.

Talk about a new perspective.

In the grand universe in which we live among a multitude of things and beings, one individual belly is not that large. This is a revolutionary thought for all of us who lament our "huge belly" or our "giant thighs." Really? Are your thighs really THAT large when you think of this great big world of ours and the physical space we each take up?

I love to laugh. Great big, loud belly laughs. And how could I go on hating something that was so fun when I was amused? Our bellies do so much for us. They hold in our internal organs. They are soft and cuddly. They jiggle when we laugh. They like to be kissed and rubbed with scented lotion and oil. How could I go on hating something so gentle? My belly is this gentle being in my life and I’ve decided to embrace it. As is. No holds barred. I love my belly. I whisper sweet nothings to it and rub it like a genie's bottle. I tell it how much I appreciate all it does for me. When I look in the mirror I puff it out and say “ho ho ho” and laugh to myself. Santa has a big belly and people love it. Why can’t I claim a little of that positive energy?

I've also named my belly but I'm keeping the title to myself!

Finally, when you think about it, bellies are like snowflakes. Some are small and hard. Some are fat and fluffy. They are all unique and beautiful!

In the Good Ol' Summertime

You know what I like about this? It’s young and hip and colorful and at Lane Bryant, it’s affordable. One of my favorite weekend uniforms is an empire smock top with black leggings and ballet flats. I feel funky and just a little trendy, and I’m also comfortable as I run errands, clean, and do all of those domestic chores I despise! This would also be a fun look for going to the movies or out to a casual event or ball game. Frankly, anything to avoid the ugly “mom-jeans with fleece and sneakers” trap!

I'm obsessed with the clean and colorful crispness of this outfit below, all from Lane Bryant. The vivid, high-summer colors of the tunic, paired with classic white trousers and a white hobo bag make for an easy look for an after-work cocktail party or a graduation open house. It’s also a great date look!

To stretch this look, you could wear the trousers with oodles of summer tops, tees, and blouses for an easy way to look cool all summer!

Be seasonal…switch out your black trousers with cool white and breeze through the hot months. I LOVE this time of the year for that reason. I ditch the socks and heavy shoes, get a mani-pedi, wear my white trousers with gorgeous sandals and I’m good to go! (Note – I adore my feet. They are really cute and I love being able to show them off during the summer months. Play up your assets!)

Point being, have fun with your clothes and don’t settle for ugly!

Hello Again

Whew! What a couple of weeks it’s been. As a quick update – I have learned that I am truly not a camper. Not an “in-the-woods-sleeping-in-a-tent-fending-off-huge-flies-grabbing-minnows-out-of-a-minnow-bucket” sort of camper at least. The Ely area of Northern Minnesota is stunningly beautiful and smells absolutely fresh and delicious, but next year I see a cushy lodge and a soft bed in which to fall at the end of a day full of fishing and boats.

I also see NOT spending the night in a camper with my parents ever….EVER…again. You should never be exposed to your elderly father climbing into an overhead sleeper compartment while wearing only his underwear. Enough said.

The highlight of this trip? Spending time with my nephews, Jake and Tyler, who both love to fish and who really love being up there. The low point? When the dog tripped me and my back went out for a day and a half. Also, see camper comment above.

So, I was in the woods for a week and came back a bit depressed and you know what that means? Yes, shopping. GGF David said I was down because I couldn't wear any of my regular clothes for a week, i.e., I was wearing hiking pants, flannel and sneakers. Not only did I have to worry about huge spiders, but also sweatshirts. I’m not sure which was worse. By the end of the trip, I just wanted to go into town so I could walk around carrying a handbag.

I am so defined by what I wear that I was totally out of my element and that threw me so I came home and bought some treats. I’ll keep it quick but I got a gorgeous sea-green silk/linen cardigan by Eileen Fisher and a silk scarf in variegated blues and greens. Together they are stunning. I also purchased this cute Ralph Lauren white linen tunic and wore it to my friend Brenda’s fundraiser/book signing on Friday night. I paired it with cuffed dark wash flared jeans and cute bejeweled Cole Haan sandals. Simple and sleek and I felt really great, the woods now a distant memory!

On a more serious note, check out this article in Crain's (NYC) yesterday.

http://www.crainsnewyork.com/article/20090531/FREE/305319991

It’s about the plus size retail world and how larger sizes are among the latest victims of the recession, with the retail industry cutting them on all fronts. Really? Are not all sizes suffering? It seems to me that the industry is always looking for excuses to justify how it under serves the majority of the female shoppers, so how perfect is this for them? Do I think they are maliciously making sure there is a lack of clothing options for plus size women? I used to think not but quite honestly, I wonder. Do I think they simply have no idea of how to market to plus size women? Absolutely. So I beseech them to have plus size women as buyers. As executives. To put us at all levels of their organizations. Otherwise, where are we represented for retailers? How can a 50 year old man have any idea what a plus size female shopper wants? Can a female buyer who wears a size 4 have any idea what I want? How can they truly understand the reality I face in my life and what I want in my clothing, which is essentially the same options all other women have. Somehow, they have it in their minds that we are a specialty market, when in reality, that is the label they have slapped onto us. I’m not a specialty size..I’m a majority size and until they get that concept, this will continue. Look, I shop at the Mall of America – the biggest frickin’ mall in the country and there are seven stores, out of hundreds, in which I can shop for clothes. Out of that, four of them are department stores. I think there is such a missed opportunity here for them and if they could only stop making us solely responsible for what THEY are doing, maybe this would turn around.

If we could feel like someone actually cared what we put on our backs, perhaps we would reward them with our loyalty and our money.