Perfect Size

I would like to thank the Somalian cab driver who proposed to me recently and not only that, opened my eyes to how body acceptance and standards are so different by culture.

I had just gotten into a cab and we hadn't left the parking lot when it came. "Are you married?" he asked. To be honest, this is a question I've gotten used to it since a) I take cabs fairly often and almost all of the drivers in Minneapolis are Somali men, and b) they seem to like large women and I have fielded more than one marriage proposal. Sometimes I'm not up for the ensuing conversation and questions about why I am not married so I lie. This evening, not feeling well and exhausted, I simply replied, "No, I'm not married."

His reaction was incredulous and immediate. "But you are a beautiful woman..BEAUTIFUL! You are the perfect size...PERFECT SIZE!"

Aside from the fact that I felt like if I was a cantaloupe, he would have been knocking on my rind to see if I was ripe, I was totally blown away by this comment. In this country, never would my size be considered perfect. I accept my size and am a passionate advocate for body acceptance at any size, but let's be honest, the magazines and media we are surrounded with do anything BUT let us accept ourselves just as we are. What I finally realized was that in the country he was from, being large is probably a sign of prosperity and financial wealth. Quite simply, if you have money, you eat. On a continent where many are starving to death daily, food is quite the litmus test of prestige.

So, with his words in my head and a good story to tell, I continue to face the world every day as a size 22. I accept who I am at all times and I encourage others to do the same. If you're starving yourself in the pursuit of an unobtainable beauty ideal, remember that there is someone in this world who would literally die to have a fraction of what we do. Treat yourself with kindness and love and that means eating to nourish and live.

And...to all the skinny girls I encounter who look down their noses at me because of my size, I say to them that I may be large in your eyes, but in Somalia, I am a frigging QUEEN! While many of you fear never having a marriage proposal by the time they turn 30..I cannot get past $5.00 on the meter without one.

And while I'm at it..off with your heads! It's good to be the Queen!