Bloomies Blunder

The Bloomingdale's in my neck of the woods (Mall of America) is no longer going to carry Eileen Fisher in women's sizes. The Eileen Fisher Rep told me that her numbers are always on target, but that the powers that be are unhappy that the line does not sell well at the regular price. In other words, the volume is there, but they sell more when it's marked down. The Rep is heartbroken and lobbied hard to keep carrying women's sizes, so kudos to her for trying!

My thoughts on this? I love Bloomingdales and I shop there often as it's one of the best options I have in Minneapolis for fashion-forward clothes in my size. But this bothers me a great deal. As I came up the escalator on Saturday, I noticed that the Eileen Fisher department in missy and petites is as large and beautifully presented as it always has been. Quite honestly, it feels like once again plus size women are held to different standards. Why couldn't Bloomingdale's do an Eileen Fisher department that carries all women's sizes from petite to plus, and provide a wide array of choices in ALL sizes? I have to walk by a large missy and petites department with numerous stands and rounds and mannequins, and then I get to the women's department where I'm expected to get excited about two T-stands of limited merchandise choices. Then I'm punished when I don't take the meager offering. I learned recently that while clothing retailers have not provided fashionable and quality clothing in plus sizes for the past fifty years, we do know that this is changing so now the retailer's expectation is that we are going to snap to attention and be thrilled to have what they put out there. This has not been the case. We've been so conditioned to NOT have options and in so many ways, we still really don't. We're being hesitant and careful. We're still choosing retailers that either specialize in plus sizes or designers who totally embrace their plus size customer. Sometimes it seems so simple to me. Do any larger retailers actually have plus size designers or buyers on staff? We are still the bottom rung of importance in most department stores and if you don't think this is true, I dare you to walk into any Target store and tell me the plus size women's department isn't crammed full of clearance racks from the rest of the clothing departments. We obviously don't rank very high.

So here is my tough love. I think many of us look at our current body size as temporary so in some ways we are part of the problem. Are we refusing to buy clothes on the basis of "I'm losing weight..I'm on a diet...I can't buy clothes right now."? I worked in a major plus size clothing retailer and I cannot tell you how many times I heard these words when trying to help someone find clothing that fit them and that they liked. The accepted mind set is to think "I'm losing weight, this is temporary, so why spend money on clothes now?" Or even worse, to say "these will be my fat jeans until I'm down to a normal size." Ye gadz. What kind of message are we giving ourselves then?

We're our own worst enemy.

What's the answer? I venture once again that the only way retailers and designers are going to change is if we do. I challenge us to dress for our current size. I challenge us to adore ourselves enough to buy the most beautiful and stylish clothing we can afford and to feel great and deserving in what we wear. I challenge us to invest in fantastic pieces that will enable us to build a wardrobe that we love when we open the closet in the morning. I challenge us to not put off buying clothing thinking "I'll just wait until I lose another 10..20..30...100 pounds..." because it's this mindset that has us putting our entire lives on hold. That's not living, and frankly, if you are losing weight - consign or donate your old clothes and treat yourself to new ones. It's not rocket science and there is no reason why you shouldn't feel great at any size. Live and dress for today.

As for Bloomingdale's at the MOA? If you are a customer who wears and purchases Eileen Fisher, let them know you're unhappy. If we are silent, nothing will change. And as an FYI, stores in the Twin Cities area that do still carry Eileen Fisher in women's sizes are Macy's at Southdale and Nordstrom at the MOA.

The Delightful b&lu Plus Size Fashions!

I have discovered a fabulous new site for fashionable and affordable clothes that will make you feel sassy and cute! b&lu began in 2000 with only a handful of styles. Based in St. Paul Minnesota (I am based in Minneapolis so I feel a special affinity!) their looks were quickly praised as something new and fresh. They also were cheered on by their 1x-5x size range, as many stores only carry 1x-3x. Their concept is unique, boutique styles in extended sizes, something many women have difficulty locating. In a world of Ann Taylor and the Limited, it's nice to see that we are gaining on our smaller sisters in terms of options!

Pictured here are some of my current b&lu favorites, but please check them out at the link on the right to scope it out for yourself and hopefully pick yourself up something fun for summer!

First up - this divine little black dress. This is the Raquel dress and could it be called anything but? At only $54, even Ms. Welch herself would carry this one off with style! Simple enough to wear to work but smart enough to dress up for a dinner date - this dress is a keeper. I especially like the panel around the mid-section that promises to provide a curvy shape!
Next up, this yummy Alma dress. I'm already picturing the shoes I want to get to go with this stunner. This lightweight dress will take me from spring right into summer while the gorgeous turqouise brings out the blue in my eyes and the v-neck plays up my decollatage. At only $41, I might get it in black as well!

Ruffles are a big trend this summer and the Valentina blouse will keep me in style while also keeping me cool. Available in raspberry, I can see this dressing up some black linen slacks with a cute pair of ballet flats to finish a retro look for fun or work. The ruffles provide enough embellishment on top so I'll skip the necklace and pair it instead with some chunky bracelets and a great colorful handbag for a completed look!

Why I Love Beth Ditto

I am currently worshipping at the altar of Beth Ditto - plus-size, way out-there lead singer of "The Gossip". Simply put - she is all the things I didn't give myself permission to be at that age and something I aspire to now in terms of honesty and emotional and physical rawness. Some of the things I admire:

1. She recently appeared with "The Gossip" at the Fendi Fashion Party and appeared with Karl Lagerfeld, the uber-skinny bitchy designer who is notorious for his weight loss and subsequent fat-hatred.

2. She was selected by NME as the coolest person in rock and placed at number one in the magazine's annual "Cool List." They cited her non-conformity as the reason for her selection; she is a lesbian, outspoken advocate of gay rights, unapologetically plus size and in a relationship with a transman.

3. She has refused to play in-store at fashionable Topshop stores, citing her dissatisfaction with their clothing not being available in her size. She went as far as to offer to design clothes for them saying "Give me the job. I want to design. I want to make clothes for big girls-big boys. I want you to make big sizes."

4. She is the 2008 Glamour Award International Artist of the Year.

5. The Gossip will be on David Letterman on April 16!

6. When asked how she would respond to catcalls on the street, she responded:

"I have been 130 pounds as well as 215 pounds. I have had blonde, strawberry blond, green, pink and purple hair and none of that has ever exempted me from having lewd comments flung at me in the street. This happens to all women , and it can be really upsetting, but we shouldn't feel hopeless about it - I really believe that if men and women start communicating about this, it's something we can tackle together. First things first...we have to stop referring to this as a "catcall". Women aren't cats, we aren't pets, we are just people trying to cross the freaking street to get an ice-cream cone."

I love this woman!!

The Cruelty of Starvation

Did you know that China has a fashion week much like NYC's seasonal tradition in Bryant Park? Did you also know that from the look of this photo taken from yesterday's L.A. Times, China also suffers from the same unbalanced sense of what is healthy in terms of body size and weight that we do here?

What is wrong with us when to look like a famine survivor is considered more attractive than to have plumpness or curves? How much must you starve your body to look like this? I’m sure the model in this photo is a lovely woman, but to have to hold your body to this sort of “standard” is shameful. We live in a world where women in developed nations can have any food they could wish for – yet we are expected to diet and withhold and deprive ourselves in order to fit an unrealistic ideal of what is beautiful. This is not about eating in a healthy and nurturing manner. Cultivating and promoting this sort of thin, bony appearance is unfair and mean. Do we still not get that? How many women must make themselves miserable before we are able to just let it go and embrace our bodies, curves and all?

Your Inner Boho

Spring Fashion Find!

Channel your inner Talitha Getty in this gorgeous butterfly sleeve tunic from Lane Bryant. Wear it with jeans and heels for a sexy and fresh look.

Rant and Roll

This is a big, non-fashion rant. And roll. Can I just say that I'm totally enamored of my "Rant and roll" title. I can almost hear my mom saying "That's so darn clever. I just don't know how you come up with those things."

Anyways. This is a rant, which is how I'm feeling lately. Like I MUST let off steam - something! I am a woman who truly believes that each of us has the power to determine our own path; we make our own reality. Not to quote the cliche, but I am a big, beautiful woman and I believe that at all times. But you know - as much as I talk about it and really do believe it, I still have times where I fall into the mindset of "if only I would lose weight..." In other words, I have lately found myself not really living up to my own belief. And I hate falling into that trap. Make no mistake, it is a trap and it keeps us prisoner and robs us of the ability to live life fully with joy and love and beauty.

So here's what happened and what I realized. Last week I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Now, I just thought that I was pre-menopausal with irregular periods and some new physical discomforts. Not really fun, but bearable. It brought me to the OB-GYN and some tests. Now - the hypothyroidism diagnosis completely surprised me and honestly, I went in fully expecting to be told I was diabetic because of my weight. Lo and behold, my blood sugar is completely normal. As is my cholesterol, blood pressure, etc. Frankly, I've had a few weeks of feeling not so good in my body and I am shocked to find that it's probably due to the hypothyroidism and a metabolism that is operating below what it should be.

Is this a reason for me to live in ways that are unhealthy and do not honor my body? No - but I have been doing that. I have sort of "let myself go" so to speak. This is in mind, body AND soul. I really deadened myself this winter. Part of it was that I felt like I could barely function at times and I kept thinking "if Ilost weight I'd feel better about everything..." and of course, that's so untrue. I let my worth come from places outside myself and that's always dangerous and distorted. I let myself believe that I was not worthy of dressing well and feeling great every single day and that just makes me sad because I have such a passion for clothing and how we present ourselves to the world. My presentation has been lacking.

So, spring is stirring and with it, I'm feeling really hopeful and warm. I feel the cobwebs loosening and I feel my desire to live fully stirring and deciding to move on and get going. Life is short and I don't want to miss any of it! So I move on, imperfect yet whole at any size and shape. I will do the best I can and trust that I am lovely and perfect just as I am. And I refuse to take any more crap from the outside. I am here dammit and I deserve the best there is.

Ch..Ch..Ch...Ch..Changes!

Hi everyone. I have been off-line for a few days and have but a few words to share this afternoon.

Chief among them is that I had to change the name of my blog as apparently the name I chose had been registered for another website. Ooops. I don't think "Grand Diva" is going to stay because the whole Diva thing is a bit of a cliche for me. But - I needed something fast. Watch for updates!

Also - check out this article from the link below. It was in the L.A. Times on March 1 and discuses the plus size fashion world. VERY eye opening and a reminder to us that we (plus size women) have be diligent and continue encouraging designers and retailers to provide us with the same fashionable choices our smaller sisters are afforded. It's up to us - I truly believe this. Buy the clothes you love, write your favorite stores, email your favorite designers. Let your voice and your pocketbook be heard.

http://www.latimes.com/features/lifestyle/la-ig-size1-2009mar01,0,2345629.story?page=1&track=rss

Right On Target

Kudos to Target for some great contemporary pieces in their current plus size women's offerings! Aside from the fact that I just mistakenly wore as bathing suit cover up as a dress (mea culpa) there are some really adorable pieces for spring that take us out of the dowdy world that has historically been Target's women's sizes offerings.

Target has introduced a Plus Young Contemporary line. It might say young, but don't think you have to be a teenager to wear these fun and flirty pieces. This line is going to appeal to every woman who wants a few new trendier pieces for her spring/summer wardrobe, but who does not have alot of money to spend. And with the economy the way it is right now, isn't that most of us? Thankfully, Target is spreading some of it's budget-friendly, design-conscious style to women's sizes and it's about time.

Some of my favorite must-haves:

The Kimono dress in purple. This soft jersey knit features kimono sleeves and an empire waist. The V-necks is fabulous on most plus size women as it elongates (as opposed to a scoop neck which emphasizes roundness.) This piece could take you to work and out to play and at only $19.99, it's a steal.

The flutter sleeve top in red floral. Florals are a big look this spring. Here is your chance to get a very runway, high-end look for a small fraction of the price. At $19.99, this top will be adorable with everything from jeans to trousers to cropped pants. Romantic and sure to make you feel prettier than you already do!

Asymmetrical Print Tee. Who doesn't need a little bit of the 80's in their closet? This t-shirt will be a great piece for those nights out on the town. Wear it with black leggings or peg leg jeans and ballet flats and you're ready to give Joan Jett a run for her money. What a fun addition to your wardrobe and again, for $19.99, even if you spill a glass of wine on it while dancing to Wham, who cares?

So, my advice ladies is to check out your local Target and see what fun items you can find. I'm anxious to see what's next!

Positively Stylish

There are a lot of size positive words on the web and beyond. I love it all and I think we need to keep saying, reading and believing these words because quite honestly, there is a lot of bad energy directed at women of all sizes in our society. In the interest of realizing that we can only control our own behavior, we can change our focus and allow the positives to be our mantra. We need not let others decide that we are not ok based on the sizes of our bodies. Do I believe that people set out to make us feel badly and to chip away at our self-esteem? No, I do not. BUT, I do believe that so much time, energy, money and magazine covers are devoted to the next diet, to losing those last 10 pounds, to a great new way to keep the weight off…that our esteem and our lives are constantly being “delayed” because we end up feeling that we constantly need to be fixing ourselves.

What are we missing out on doing because of the size of our thighs? What magnificent things are we not accomplishing because of the number on the scale? When will we give ourselves permission to simply live our lives and be as happy as we can be?

The moment is now. If this were your last day on this earth, would you want to spend it fretting about losing 10 pounds or thinking you could find love ONLY if you were a size 4? This is the only moment we are given and for this moment, why not try just being ok? Just as you are..perfect in every way. Look at yourself in the mirror and say “I am ok just as I am. I’m perfect in every way.” Do this every morning..do it every evening. Do it when you go to the bathroom at work. Do it until you know it and believe it to your core.

The fact is, we will change; we may gain weight, we may lose weight; we may get sick, we may be healthy and live to be 100; we may run a marathon, we may walk around the block once a week; we may be mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, fag hags, divas, co-workers, aunts, and general all around rock stars; but we still just have this moment.

And believe me, in this moment, we are fabulous.

1. Beauty is not synonymous with size. I don’t have to be a dress size 4 to be beautiful.
2. My self-esteem is not contingent upon my dress size.
3. I love myself today, as I am!
4. If someone does not respect me based solely on my size, that person is not someone I need to give time or attention to. It is their issue, not mine.
5. I am not putting my life on hold until I lose weight.
6. My inner beauty only enhances my outer beauty.
7. I treat my body lovingly and well – feeding it foods that nourish, moving in ways that feel good and exercise my body and my spirit.
8. I always purchase clothes that fit me, that are not too big or too small. If I need to, I seek out a tailor, knowing that a well-fitting garment will flatter me the best.
9. I am not afraid to wear bright colors, pleats, pastels, whites, a belt, or heels!
10. I dress to maximize my favorite features.
11. I only purchase clothes that I adore and that are beautiful.
12. I don’t apologize for loving what I wear and making my appearance a priority.
13. I am living a full life based on who I am today. My hopes and dreams are many and are not on hold until I lose weight.
14. Love is all there is and it starts with us.

Let's Dance

ballet–noun
a classical dance form demanding grace and precision and employing formalized steps and gestures set in intricate, flowing patterns to create expression through movement.

Once upon a time there lived a girl who dreamt of being a ballerina. This girl wasn’t obsessed with the dances and music. No, what this girl fantasized about was the shoes. Pretty, feminine, pink, satiny….and flat! How she would look in those shoes and how wonderful they would feel! Alas, her dream languished for years until one fateful day when she was shopping at the Galleria. There, she came upon a magical sight. It was a pair of Tory Burch zebra patterned Reva ballet flats. They were the sweetest pair of shoes she had seen, comfortable as a slipper and a perfect addition to her wardrobe. At the age of 42, this girl’s fantasy was finally coming true and she was finally able to dance in the shoes she had dreamt about..oh so long ago.

You’re probably guessing that I’m obsessed with ballet flats. They’re classic, they’re comfy..they’re also available in colors, looks and styles galore. You can dress them up or dress them down. They’re sporty, they’re dressy, and everything in between. They are available in every price range and at just about every store. For us grand sized girls, they are a life saver in terms of both comfort and style. Quite simply, they are the easiest and most versatile item for your summer wardrobe. Like the definition states, the shoes that take their cue from a classical dance form that demands grace will allow you to move through your days in the very same way. What girl can resist that?

So, here are some of my current favorites. Enjoy, dream and scheme to get some of these versatile, timeless yet trendy, items! And we can all live happily ever after. (In order, those noted below are Tory Burch, Burberry, Michael Kors, French Sole, and Puma.)

My best friend (and decorator) David was flying home from vacation on Saturday and was bored on the flight. To pass time, he wrote a list of the top 25 items he would never wear. First of all, we do really sit and talk about these things. Secondly, I immediately knew I had to do my own list.

I present here, my list of 25 items I would never wear. Ok, it's 26 items but who's counting. It's a bit tongue in cheek, but it's also stuff people do wear that I choose not to wear. It was surprisingly easy to come up with this list and in fact, at one point I thought maybe I should just list those items I WOULD wear. As a final note, I’d be curious to find out what my darling readers would not be caught dead wearing so feel free to comment on your own fashion rules!

1. Christmas/holiday sweaters. I’m sorry mom.
2. Sweatshirts. Not a one. Ever. Make a little effort at least.
3. Team logo items. The only women who should be wearing team logo items are the player’s wives and even they probably do it begrudgingly and with some bling.
4. Ugly, bulky, clunky shoes. Simply put - life is too short to wear ugly shoes.
5. Nail art. If God had meant for me to have a palm tree on my finger nails…..
6. Shimmery pink lip stick. I don’t live in Rockaway.
7. Spray on tan. If I can't tan in the sun and I’m certainly not going to tan in a strip mall.
8. Any clothing item you can buy from the back pages of Parade magazine. These are items best left to my mother’s Aunt Bea.
9. Crocs. Do I live in Iowa? I didn’t think so.
10. String Bikini. I’m too big and I’d at least need a rope bikini. And even then I wouldn’t get a real tan; probably just a rope burn.
11. Tube top. Even when I was young and nubile, this would not have been good.
12. Banana hair clip. Easy. No hair to clip!
13. Any clothing item with a Disney or other “cute” character. My 44 year old sister wears a Tigger jersey that is 10 years old, which is ironically the age limit at which you should be wearing a character of any kind on your clothes.
14. Sprong shoes. It could at least look like a pump and feel like a sneaker..but nooooo.
15. Sweater with a dickey. Classic scene: Randy Quaid. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Hilarious. Enough said.
16. Pin on my jacket or purse with photo of hockey playing child. Who am I, Sarah Palin? This is the look to nowhere.
17. Dockers. I am not a 45 year old suburban man who drives a pick up truck and plays softball with his buddies every weekend.
18. Pleated pants. I have my own belly thank you.
19. Suspenders. Mork from Ork did this look best. Do you really want that as your fashion inspiration?
20. Jeans with rhinestones on the pockets. Hello Jessica Simpson. Goodbye Jessica Simpson.
21. Anything you purchase while on a Caribbean cruise. Specifically, anything you may purchase through your taxi window while on a winding mountain road on the island of St. Lucia on your way to see a stinky volcano.
22. Matching skirt and blouse “set.” Geranimals for adults.
23. Overalls. Not unless I’m cast in a production of “Godspell.”
24. Tie dyed anything. I shop in a local co-op where tie dye is the norm and what I believe is the look that time forgot.
25. Leotards. Being the trendsetter she is, Madonna has taken to wearing leotards as her entire outfit. I don’t like this because frankly, I’m over seeing Madonna half-dressed. We get it…you work out. Now can we move on?
26. Caterpillar scarf. This will have to wait until I join the Red Hat Society.