Maxi Dress = Maxi Style

The maxi dress is back baby.

I remember the groovy days of long dresses and platform sandals back when I was just a wee one. Memories of my mom’s teased wig sitting on the white Styrofoam head in her bedroom just waiting to be worn out in the happening scene of Richfield, Minnesota. Hearing about Liza and Halston getting it on with the Warhol Factory people; Bianca Jagger riding into her birthday party on the back of a white horse while wearing a flowing jersey maxi dress. As I fantasized and played "dress up", I would put on that wig, add some lipstick using the tiny lipstick samples Avon distributed at that time (perfect kid-size lipstick tubes), and then put on my favorite "play" dress, a long flowy red chiffon number with spaghetti straps that I paired with silver chunky wedges. Could it be any better than this I wondered?

Of course it can. The dress up of my youth is now the fashion forward reality of my present. The maxi dress is back and what a great easy look for women of every shape and size. Flowy fabric is comfortable, pretty and cool for summer heat, while the length and cut allows for all shapes and sizes. If you’re a bit short, like me, a platform sandal or wedge can take care of that. For all of you taller girls – well..get on with your bad self! These are perfect for you!

So here are some my current favorites. Let’s get shopping!

I continue to worship at the altar of Rachel Pally. Could you not just see someone like Queen Latifah walking down a red carpet in this one-shoulder stunner pictured above? This dress comes in Hibiscus (shown) or black and at just over $250 is a relative steal for such a versatile piece. This single shoulder strap and inset waist provide a really great modern touch to this simple but fabulous dress. Likewise her sleeveless print caftan dress below, which is perfect for drinks around the pool in the Hampton's! Or, since I’m a Minnesota girl at heart, maybe a high-ball after fishing at Lake of the Woods – there is room for style in everyone’s life!


Calvin Klein's’ tie dyed maxi is a casual look that will take you around town, on a date, or just lounging. For a super hot day, the light cotton and sleeveless style will keep you cool while the style just keeps you..super cool!
The fun thing about maxis? One great dress and you have totally updated your wardrobe for the summer months. And what's not to like about that? I think even GGD would approve...! Wink.

Rainy Days and Mondays

The green is popping in Minneapolis. We got rain over the weekend and now the leaves are exploding. This is my favorite time of the year when it greens up and smells earthy and fresh. I even took a walk yesterday with my umbrella in the rain and loved every minute of it. And now this morning, more rain and that familiar Monday feeling of "what happened to the weekend and when does it come back?"

I'm very body conscious today. Partly because my back seized up on Saturday night. I was walking from a door to the car when I got the chills and shivered really violently. By the time I got to the car, my back had started spasming. I immediately thought back to my evening. Had I done something to bring this on? Did I move a certain way that led to this situation? Did I lift anything particularly heavy? And quite simply - no. I was simply walking and it happened and thus followed a sleepless night of restlessness and pain; of taking hot showers all night long just to have the warm water massage that spot on my back; of walking the length of my apartment in an effort to feel better (sorry to my downstairs neighbor.) And finally, blissful sleep at 5 am. And now better and following an indulgent day of chick flicks while I dozed in bed, including my favorite "Notting Hill." Truly one of my favorite comfort films and it always makes me cry in it's sweetness and charm. Boy meets girl; boy falls in love with girl; girl is movie star and comes in and out of his life and then finally, girl sees boy for charming sweetness that he is and they marry and end up on the lovely park bench they saw at the beginning of their relationship. I realized yesterday that this love story is told from the man's perspective and he is so charmingly vulnerable and resigned, which is how I feel around love these days. It almost made the back issues worthwhile to lay in bed and watch Hugh Grant as he stumbled through having his heart broken and then gloriously put back together again.

So I'm thinking of love today. And of rain and spring and green reawakening. At a relatively late place in life, I feel I'm in spring. I am tending to my own garden so that I flower and bloom and nurture a spot where great love can live. There is great love in my life and for that I am blessed beyond compare. But there is also room for much more and of course, one great romantic love that I know is there for me. Isn't that what we all we ever really hope for? Boy meets girl..boy and girl fall in love; or boy meets boy or girl meets girl. Simply, it's the best part of life.

MORE Positivity

Go to More Magazine's website and take their "How do you Feel About Your Body" survey! Embrace yourself and let the world know!

http://www.more.com/

Retail Therapy

I admit to some recent retail therapy. My summer wardrobe has taken a leap forward over the past week and I'm really excited about that. Frankly, in a world where torture, financial ruin and Craig's list killers dominate the media...buying something pretty that makes me feel good seems like a pretty easy remedy.

So, here I share some of my finds. And an admonishment to go out for a refreshing manicure/pedicure like I did on Friday. I'm wearing sandals today for the first time this season and love the feel of my cute little pink toes peeking out from my pants. Even though I work in the middle of the Isle of Road Construction, Dust and Gridlock, there's no reason to not feel like I'm on the Isle of Capri!

I broke down and got the hot sandal of the season..a gladiator. For those of you who think Frey only does cowboy boots - check them out. They have a very modern, leather-y look with a variety of shoe styles that is very now and very comfortable. I had tried on some Tory Burch sandals that I was obsessed over and quite frankly - they hurt my feel like crazy. Good way to end said obsession. And on top of it - I think the Frye sandals have a more modern edge than the Tory Burch did. I LOVE Tory Burch shoes and have lived in her Reva ballet flats for a couple of years. But sometimes a middle-aged woman needs something besides the shoe that every other middle-aged woman is wearing.

These were at the same shoe store as Tory (Pumpz in the Galleria - a shout out to the best shoe store in Minneapolis!) and I tried them on and immediately fell in love. Seriously - fell in LOVE! And you shoe queens out there can attest to how real that is. For $150, I'll live in them this summer. Note - I bought them a half a size larger that what I usually wear. Good girlfriend David (GGD) noticed I was coming off the back and will be delighted I'm mentioning this here as it was a point a great discussion! If you haven't, check out the Calvin Klein label in women's sizes. In the Twin Cities, Bloomingdale's at the MOA has what I think is the best collection. Calvin Klein has a new owner and they are doing a very up to date line that is not only colorful and cut very nicely, but is priced to sell. There are a series of incredible dresses that are running in the $120-$150 range and I want them all. What I've settled on is this sleeveless black a-line dress with some stretch and (fun) pockets! (Note - wouldn't it be nice to be able to see the same dress on-line on a larger model for a more realistic view of how it may look on? I have the same dress but it's cut is a little longer than what is shown..partially because I'm shorter and partially because my guess is that it's cut differently in a plus size.) Regardless, it will be great with sandals for work or a dressier heel for evening. I also took home a white linen skirt with very large box pleats. It has more of an a-line shape and felt really great on. I will wear it with a belted cardigan and sandals for a crisp but comfortable look (very Michelle Obama).

I went on-line to B&Lu where I ordered the Alma dress I noted in an earlier post, which will be a great night out dress for this summer. I got the last turquoise they had in stock so I feel very lucky!! I also ordered the Agatha dress pictured here. For the price ($41!) it looks to have some fun retro-style and wear ability. I am REALLY into dresses these days and feel both very put together but also kind of sexy and sassy when I'm wearing them. A little cleavage never hurt anyone.

So I'm loving the new items and feel so great when I'm in something I adore and that I know looks great on me. I shopped, lunched and spa'ed Friday with GGD which was a great time on many levels. He's a really great stylist for me to have along as he has me trying things on that I normally wouldn't. Of note, he had me purchase a beautiful silk and linen Eileen Fisher scarf ("think of it like a necklace") and a silk tunic by Jones New York. I feel like a new woman for a new season!

Happy shopping everyone.

When You're a Funny Girl

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is 14 days." - Totie Fields

This is a shout out to all the funny women in my life...Rox...Brenda...Susie. The Maria Bamfords..the Jackie Kashians...the Amber Prestons..the Diane Fords. You are all amazing. And I wish you had been with me Saturday when I was surrounded by drunken frat boy mentality and humor. Was some of it funny? Sure it was. Was some of it completely offensive and drunkenly stupid. You bet it was. Will I ever be sorry I say the word "vagina" in my act? Hell no!!!

Random Thoughts about Random Airlines

Let me get this out of the way immediately. I'm beyond angry at United Airlines for their announcement that they will start charging obese passengers for two seats depending on how full the plane is. This policy applies to tickets purchased on or after March 4, 2009, for travel on or after April 15, 2009 and specifically concerns passengers who “are unable to fit into a single seat in the ticketed cabin; are unable to properly buckle the seat belt using a single seat belt extender; and/or are unable to put the seat's armrests down when seated.”

It seems our skinnier counterparts cannot bear the thought of someone in a 21-inch seat touching their body in any way. They don't seem to care that we have to listen to their children scream and fuss and kick our seats for a 3-hour flights; they don't seem to care that quite honestly, they're touching me as much as I'm touching them..hello, who can fit into those seats?; and they don't seem to care that this is downright discriminatory and cruel. The notice about the United policy change is in their "Customers with Special Needs" subsection on their website. It was posted six weeks ago..very quietly. No press release and no notice to frequent fliers. Gosh United, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to hide this until you started slapping large passengers with extra hefty ticket prices and humiliating and embarrassing them as they were ready to board flights. After all, won't a fat person be filled with shame and not really willing to speak up no matter how embarrassed or inconvenienced? It's the price we pay as fatties isn't it? No voice? The general mindset of fat bigots is that Fat = miserable; Fat = not living; Fat = not speaking up.

Well, fuck that. I read about the United policy initially on the CNN website and immediately went to the replies that people had posted. The cruelty and meanness of people who are able to facelessly post to something like that astonishes me. Apparently there are people who are so perfect that they are willing to easily dismiss and judge people only because of their size. These magical folks deem people to be less than their own selves based on numbers, size of thighs, presence of cellulite. Wow - it must be nice to be so sure of your own perfection. I mean really, are we just judging people on this now? Does it not matter to you that people are kind and loving and have full lives that require them to move around the world just like a smaller person? Why are fat people expected to live lives that are so much "less than"? Why is that considered ok? Why is it expected?

So - in the vein of having no voice I would say that if you are sitting next to me on a plane and feel I should be charged double, you'd better fucking say it to my face. Because it's so easy to be faceless on a computer isn't it? Never having to put your petty cruelty and bigotry right out there. Wow, you're brave. Let's see you do this if your mother is fat. Or your sister. Perhaps your wife or husband. Or your child. Tell them they should have to pay double as they're getting on a plane and see how well that goes over. Voiceless my ass.

Check out Kate Harding's thoughts on this (and her appearance on CNN). She rocks totally. http://kateharding.net/

This has made me think alot about my personal space and how people may or may not deem that I am so large within my space. Last summer I went to the Minnesota State Fair. On a VERY crowded day, I was really struck by the number of strollers; if you looked down the street it was a sea of strollers. People with children everywhere. And they were maniacal about it. They'd wheel right up behind you and bump your legs..they'd be in lines with their kids and strollers and it didn't matter. They seemed to feel they always had the right of way and were entitled to all of their space. Did the people with strollers have to pay more? Was there a stroller surcharge? Of course not, they are entitled to their space. But then I am entitled to my space too. Whether I'm a size 2...22..or 44. That's the deal people. You don't get to pick and choose who's space is more legitimate.

Hmmmmmm......

It's a gorgeous day outside. Our first day of almost 70-degrees and that is a huge celebration. Spring has sprung here in Minnesota. The birds are singing, the sun is out, and I have shaved my legs! There is no going back now. Sadly, I'm also wearing a dress with black tights and my favorite knee-high boots - a little warm, but that's ok. I think I'm retiring them for the season after today.

On Friday, good girlfriend David and I are having a spa day. We are going to Juut Salon where he's having a facial and I'm having a restorative manicure and pedicure. Then a nice lunch and of course, some shopping. It is time for some spring to enter my wardrobe and it's also time for a gal pal day. I can't wait.

Tonight I perform. I'm a comic and have a show in town which is a blessing. I hope it goes well and I'm closing so I'm hoping the audience is in a comedy vibe. My younger friend David (another David) will be there and lately he's making me wonder about the relationships us "older" women have with younger men. I don't like the"cougar" label and it does not apply to me. First of all, I would never label myself in that way as I think it infers something out of the ordinary and there is something almost predatory about it. However, I've had a couple of younger men in my life lately and it makes me wonder what the attraction is for the man and what they get out of it. Is it ego? Is it genuine affection? In my friend David's case, it is genuine affection and we have a really fun and easy chemistry. We also have a great time together and it is an intimate connection, but not a sexual connection. I can't deny that the thought intrigues me but I am ok with letting it be what it is, which is a really lovely friendship with a man that I enjoy and adore. And who knows? I am a fabulous, sensual, funny, kind, stylish and creative plus size woman and any man would be lucky to have me.

Lots to ponder these days and more to come. Thanks for reading!

If Oprah Ain't Happy..Ain't Nobody Happy!

If you are a child of the 70's like I am, you probably loved the television show "One Day at a Time". I especially related to Valerie Bertinelli's character, Barbara Cooper. Barbara was the the cute, sassy younger sister who looked like I did in terms of clothes, hair and body size. She was the "normal girl" that you no longer see on television shows as everyone has been dieted into oblivion or airbrushed into smooth perfection. And all of the weight loss attention Valerie Bertinelli has received lately has made me reflect and realize that while I could relate to Barbara Cooper, there is no one on television that represents me today. Even Oprah, one of the most powerful women in the media industry, if not the world, still berates and chastises herself about her weight in ways that makes me wonder "if Oprah can't be happy because of her weight, what chance is there for any of us?"

Oprah is still one of the lucky ones. Careers die when actresses gain weight and lose favor with studios and the public. But now, this has spawned a whole new profession. Valerie Bertinelli has made a comeback of sorts based on the fact that she lost weight. "Bikini Body at 48" screams the People headline. It's probably the most press she's had in years. And of course she looks fantastic, but she has fallen into the trend of losing weight as a career option. If you are a middle-aged actress who has put some weight on as you age; if you are photographed looking like the dreaded "real person", schlepping through an airport in baggy jeans or standing on a remote beach somewhere in a bathing suit with a stomach protruding, dimpled thighs or god forbid, a fat ass, weight loss can now be your ticket to a paycheck. I thought that Kirstie Alley was the first to find this neat little trick - also losing weight and appearing on Oprah in a bikini. But when you think back to older Hollywood, Judy Garland was put on pills to lose weight (which ultimately led to her demise) and Liz Taylor was renowned for her ability to gain and lose repeatedly - appearing in caftans in Washington D.C. when heavier, and playing total screen siren as Cleopatra when at her slimmest. She was as known for her "fat phases" as Richard Burton was for his womanizing.

At one time it was a career move to head to rehab now it's all about joining Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem.

I just saw a Jenny Craig ad featuring Phylicia Rashād (best known as Claire Huxtable on "The Cosby Show") who seems to be the latest celeb to fall into this trap. Apparently it's not enough to be an Emmy and Tony-award winning actress. It seems we are not worthy as women or human beings until we feel able to parade around a stage or on a magazine cover in a bikini. Is it wrong that I feel a little let down by Valerie and Phylicia, while at the same time knowing that all women have the right to decide for themselves what feels good for their own bodies? But that's part of my point - their bodies, i.e., our bodies, are not our own when we give so much power to the media and everyone around us who has decided that we are flawed and imperfect and if only we lost 10-20-30 pounds, we'd be valid and current.

Not to beat my feminist drum, but what the hell? I am struck by the lack of men who are expected to maintain the same standards. Is anyone putting John Goodman on a diet and then posing him in a Speedo on the cover of GQ? How about Seth Rogan? I adore Seth Rogan; I think he's hilarious. But while he has been starring in movies, and appearing on the covers of magazines and hosting SNL, where are his fat female equivalents? We would never have seen "Knocked Up" if the dumpy guy/hot girl situation had been reversed. What if the male lead had been played by some hot young actor like Jake Gyllenhaal, and the female love interest played by someone like actress Melissa McCarthy? Even Jack Black got Gwyneth Paltrow in "Shallow Hal" and do not even get me started on the skinny actresses who wear "fat suits" as opposed to actually giving a role to a larger actress. Would the brilliant Tina Fey be so revered and have so many opportunities if she weighed 250 pounds?

Valerie Bertinelli of the 70's no longer exists of course, but would she have been the teen queen she was then, in today's world? Not if she had looked the same in her body. Because today the gossip girls and the Lauren Conrads and Vanessa Hudgins survive on coffee, clubbing and Jimmy Choos. It's better to be drugged up, drunk, stumbling out of clubs like Lindsay Lohan, than to be fat. Look at how Jessica Simpson was thrown to the media wolves for putting on a few pounds - and then compare that to how Lindsay Lohan is discussed through rehab after rehab...drunken club night after drunken club night - and tell me there is not some horrible imbalance and cruelty.

Every woman needs to decide what to do with their body. We each get to decide what to eat, how to move, what feels good, what doesn't feel good. All I ask is that I open a magazine and for once not have the features to be about losing weight (followed by a cake recipe). I'd love to see Phylicia Rashad being lauded for her acting talent and beauty at whatever size she happens to be. I'd love to see Valerie Bertinelli on the cover of people bikini or no bikini...weight loss or no weight loss. Finally, I'd love to see Oprah go on the air and announce "I'm finally happy with this body just as it is. It takes me around the world. It takes me onto your television and your radios. It publishes a magazine, it acts and produces movies and television shows. It creates broadway musicals. It loves, it lives, it laughs, it cries, it dances, it walks my beloved dogs, it holds Stedman, it eats, it sleeps, and it's perfect just as it is."